Box of mini skits for playing theater card index on the topic

Monologue of a teacher driven to despair in class

No one achieves such a level of self-control as school teachers. In order to adequately educate a student, enormous endurance is required. So, imagine the inner voice of a teacher who has just been driven to the brink.

Teacher: You wanted war - you will get it! Challenge accepted! I can't be kind and friendly anymore! You don’t learn anything, you don’t know anything, and you have the conscience to come to school with unlearned lessons. You come to have fun. You don’t hear anything in class, because the main thing for you is to bury your nose in your phone. And how indignant we are if our favorite toy is taken away from us! “You have no right, what are you doing? This, by the way, is not your thing, this is my material property!

They don't need anything! Notebooks are forgotten, pens are not brought. You ask to write down a number, and they say: “I don’t have a pen!” And I lost my notebook!” What am I doing here? This is real punishment!

Who will answer the homework today? Whom should I ask? I'll ask the one who pisses me off the most. This is Petrov. Yes, as always, he will mix up the schedule. I know what he will tell me: “I have physical education on my schedule, you can look in my diary.”

“So that this is the first and last time!” - I will answer. Let me ask Palkin. He sits on the back desk and, as always, actively chews something. I look at him, I don’t care!

Metelkin does not part with his pipe. They bought him a pen so he could shoot his classmates. He feels like a superhero. Maybe it's time to come up with something new? Aren't you tired?

(Drips drops of valerian into a glass, drinks the medicine and clutches his heart)

Look, I feel bad, but Lozhkina and Chashkina are talking as if nothing had happened.

Oh God, Kochkina is doing Elkina’s hair. Romashkin and Utkin took up arm wrestling.

Borisov and Bulkina are watching a fascinating video. Where is my Petrov? I don’t see him... Petrov crawled under the desk and looked out. He wants to attract the attention of his classmates.

No, friends, it won’t work that way! This will continue until I take the path of mutual understanding again!

So, my dear well-mannered children! Tomorrow I'll give you all big fat D's! It will be very bad for you, believe me! You have only one way out! By tomorrow you will have memorized the following paragraphs: first, second, third, fourth and fifth. Write in your diaries: prepare for the test. Maybe this way I can teach you something!

Comic scenes for a man's anniversary

funny short skits for 2 people: two godfathers

(Two godfathers meet on stage.) Vasilisa - Kumushka, where are you rushing? Praskovya - How to where? I decided to go to the market and do some trading. Vasilisa - What do you have there? Praskovya - I have apples and tomatoes here. Vasilisa - Wow, what a harvest! What else is there for sale? Praskovya - Of course there is. This is all thanks to the Internet. I saw a good advertisement for seeds and bought them for myself. And now the result... Vasilisa - Kumushka, what does that smell like on you? Praskovya - Oh, this is my new perfume called “The Smell of Hay”. Here's the exclusive (waves the disc) look what else I have. Vasilisa - Oh, what a nice mirror. Praskovya - No, this is not a mirror, it is a disk - an electronic storage medium. Here I have written down tips on how to win men. Vasilisa - (picks up the disk) On this small disk? (Vasilina sneezes) Praskovya - Don’t come close, otherwise you’ll bring in more viruses. (Picks up the disc and puts it in the basket.) Vasilina - The technology has moved forward... Praskovya - Write down my email address www.Paraskovyatpr. Vasilisa - What kind of dog am I to you? Praskovya - What are you talking about? This is how an email address is written on the Internet. I even found a man on the Internet. Vasilisa - How is this? Praskovya - Yes. You go to the Internet, write a request and choose from a photo. (Praskovya takes out her glasses, puts them on, takes the laptop) Vasilisa - Well, write: to be of a respectable age, so somewhere under 60. Slender, respectable, well... some kind of boss, not lazy, to do everything around the house, to have a car ... Praskovya - Yes... he is here with us. Look, here he is sitting in front of you at the head of the table. Vasilisa Sixty more for you! And no less ahead I want there to be in life that you should follow. Praskovya I wish you to be healthy, Happiness to overflow, There will always be prosperity in the family and God's spiritual paradise. Vasilisa So that friends do not betray, So that you are confident in yourself, So that you have enough strength and skill In spite of everything in fate.

Mom congratulates his 18th son

Night club. A girl is sitting near the bar. A young man approaches her. YOUTH : Hello, dude! I see you're bored? GIRL: Yes, there is a little... YOUTH: Maybe you'll come with me? Let's have fun! I will give you an unforgettable evening! GIRL : Not a bad idea. But my mother will be waiting for me at 23-00 at home. YOUTH: Who's waiting? Mother? Give it up! What, are you ten years old? Susi-pusi... We are manyusi! Do you go on dates with your mom too? Ha ha! (Suddenly, someone’s hand confidently takes the young man by the ear.) YOUTH: Ma-ah? What are you doing here? MOM: What are you doing here? I'm asking you! YOUTH: Well, mom! This is my first time here... MOTHER: March home! Sleep! YOUTH: (to the girl) I'll call you back! MOM: I said - go home!

Another year has sunk into oblivion. You have matured, my son, You have become more mature, more self-possessed - This is not the first time I have said this. The views in life have become different, the approach to the problems of the day has become different, and the reality is more tangible for everyone around you and for you. Happy birthday, (name), happiness in life, Health, peace and goodness, Love, family, and good luck, And a warm environment.

new Russian congratulates

Instagram scene

Grandmother wipes her eyes with a handkerchief. Another one comes up. - Why, Filippovna, are your eyes watering? How long have you been to the ophthalmologist? We need to get checked, now such times have come that those Internets will make your eyes pop out. - Petrovna, my tears are not from the computer, but from spiritual joy and anxiety... - Oh! She has spiritual joy!.. It’s understandable, now it’s time: the grass is turning green, the bird is making a nest... And the stump is blooming. Why is your anxiety? Whatever you want, it won’t fit into any gates! - It doesn’t fit in, but it doesn’t get out! - What? Anxiety? - Yes, for a grandson with a Stagram. Trouble, and that’s all! - So, is he looking for Stagrams? And when did you have time? For a long time? - Since we bought this expensive phone, with a screen... How it gets stuck... How it gets stuck... You even drag him by the legs, but he still reaches for it with his hands... - For a Stagram? - Follow him, the devil!.. - At least he doesn’t smoke? - It doesn’t seem to stink of tobacco... Only cologne, it makes my head spin... - Well, that means there is a God in the world. If only by spirits... The world is now such that well... It would be better if he stayed at home, why did he let me in? Oh, this street, the revelry... - He didn’t go anywhere! All in that screen... You can’t tear it off. “I didn’t go, you say?” So I believed you! Where did you learn to use Stagrams? Now they have an eye and an eye like a diamond! (The grandson comes out with the phone.) - Grandmothers, stand here and smile. Now we are online, yes, support the gift, look there, say, “chi-i-i-iz.” I’ll post it on Instagram now... Super! (The grandson quickly leaves the stage.) - Filippovna, what was that?! - That's it! Stagram! - Where?! - Just now! You saw it! How the grandson turned us in different directions, now there is a noise in my head... - Your Stagrams make my head spin... (The mobile phone rings. Filippovna pulls out the phone.) - Oh! A daughter from Europe calls on the phone... (Talking on the phone) - Already? Did you see it? Us? Everyone? Tags... Send congratulations? I convey... Happy birthday and we wish you everything that a person needs, both today and for a long time. So that you are healthy and strong, so that you can create, dare, and definitely achieve your goals.

bun and smiley

Portraits of a kolobok and a smiley hang on the stage. Whistling, Kolobok runs briskly along the path. Suddenly he comes across Smiley running towards him. - Hello! - Great! (they look at each other in surprise.) – A-ah-ah!!! Clear! (the bun continues) - What is clear to you? - And you? - To me? Well, at least the fact that I’m standing in front of the mirror! - And I! - What? - Too!.. In front of the mirror! - What kind of mirror am I? I've been swept away, baked from flour, I ran away from my woman, I ran away from my grandfather... - And I also ran away... From the Internet! - Where from? - From the World Wide Web! - Ha ha! (to the audience) He's afraid of spiders! Isn't this a wolf or a bear? – I was invited to the anniversary! - So you’re not a mirror? Why do you look so much like me? - And you are on me! And to the portrait... (nods at the composition) Amazing... Yes, we are an exact copy of each other! - I am made of dough! – And I’m made of pixels! - From what, from what? I see that you seem like you’re not from here... - Me? Not from here? I'm all over the world - here! Where the Internet is, there I am. - Well... Without me, your Internet is worth nothing. Bread is the head of everything! (points to his head). A whole kilogram! – And I have a full megabyte! (also points to his head). I lift everyone's spirits at the computer! – And I cheer you up at lunch! - So you and I are brothers? - Twins! Even in a portrait! I'm on the right, you're on the left! - No, it’s me on the right, and you on the left! - It’s the other way around! You're on the left and I'm on the right! - Yes, what's the difference... We completely forgot why we came here. — The reason brought us here was the anniversary of our beloved friend (name). I raise my glass to you and drink it all to the end. For the birthday of the person that I love in a friendly way. So that the warm wind of good luck hits the sails of hope, So that you always look through life directly, sincerely into the eyes.

Sketch “At the Russian language lesson”

The skit will be successful if the actors practice words with incorrect stress to the point of automatism. The fluent incorrect speech and serious acting of the participants evoke infectious laughter from the audience.

Characters: teacher, director, students.

We know that after the reform in the Russian language you can safely use “agreement” and “agreement”, “yogurt” and “yogurt”…. I think that we will have many more reforms. Let's imagine the school like this in 20 years. We invite you to 2038 - the year of another reform under the slogan “Speak as best you can.”

Teacher: Hello, children!

Student: Hello, Marya I(I)vanovna!

Teacher: I asked you to learn the classics. Sidorov to the board!

Student: Why me-me-me?

Teacher: Come to the board! Why? Why? I decided!

Student: Always!

I loved you: love Still, perhaps, in my soul has not completely died out; But don’t let She bother you anymore; I don't want to make you sad in any way. I loved you silently, hopelessly, sometimes with timidity, sometimes with jealousy; I loved you so sincerely, so tenderly, As God grant you to be loved by someone else.

(The teacher shakes his head with emotion, but then the director comes into the classroom and whispers something in his ear).

Teacher: Children, we have a new reform. I don’t know who came up with the idea of ​​distorting the language? NOW let's pronounce all the punctuation marks. UNDERSTANDING (in question mark)? Sidorov to the board (exclamation mark)!

Student: I understand (period).

I loved you: (colon) love is still (comma), maybe (comma), in my soul has not died out completely (semicolon); But let She not disturb you any more (semicolon); I don't want to make you sad in any way. (period) I loved you silently (comma), hopelessly (comma), now with timidity (comma), now with jealousy (semicolon); I loved you so sincerely (comma), so tenderly (comma), As God grant you to be loved by others (period).

Teacher: Who Else Learned Guns Who Wants to Tell a Poem (in a Question Mark)? PETROV (in a question mark)?

Student: Why me, question mark?

Teacher: You (dash) are an excellent student (dot).

Student: I wasn’t at the last lesson (comma), I didn’t know (comma) what was asked (full stop).

Teacher: Sit down (exclamation mark)! WHY DID YOU NOT CALL Odnoklassniki (in the Question Mark)? Okay (comma), you’ll tell me tomorrow (exclamation mark)!

I GIVE YOU HOMEWORK (colon): learn Pushkin’s poem (colon and quotation marks): “I loved you (quotes)” (full stop). The rock is over (exclamation mark)! Goodbye (comma), children (exclamation mark)!

Students: Goodbye (comma), Marya I(I)vanovna (exclamation mark)!

A Lesson in Politeness

This skit allows participants to improvise.
Teacher: Hello! Today we have an unusual lesson. The topic of our lesson is “Rules of good manners.” I am sure that you are already familiar with this topic and I look forward to brilliant answers from you.

Which one of you claims to be the most polite person? Of course, that's it! Let's check who really is.

The tasks I have prepared for you will help us choose the most polite one.

First task

Collect proverbs and sayings and explain their meaning:

Answers:

Nice is the guest who stays for a short time. At home, as I want, and in people, as they are told. When visiting, eat what they give you, at home, eat what you want. Not even a spoon is reserved for an uninvited guest. They greet a guest based on their dress, and see them off based on their intelligence. You can't buy politeness at the market. Learn politeness from the ill-mannered. Politeness opens all doors.

Thank you! Right! Agree!

Second task

Here is the text of the fairy tale “The Fox and the Crane”.
The words of the author are read by... Words of the Fox - ... Words of the Crane - .....

“The fox and the crane became friends. The fox decided to treat the crane and went to invite him to visit her: “Come, kumanek, come, dear!” I'll treat you! The crane went to the banquet. And the fox cooked semolina porridge and spread it on the plate. She served it and served it: “Eat, my dear kumanek,” she cooked it herself. The crane knocked and knocked with his nose on the plate, knocked, knocked - nothing hit! And the fox licked and licked the porridge, so she ate it all herself. She ate the porridge and said: “Don’t blame me, kumanek!” There is nothing else to treat. The crane answers her: “Thank you, godfather, and that’s it!” Come to visit me. The next day the fox comes to the crane, and he prepared okroshka, poured it into a jug with a narrow neck, put it on the table and said: “Eat, gossip!” Really, there’s nothing else to regale you with. The fox began to spin around the jug. And he comes in like this, and this way, and licks it, and sniffs it, but he just can’t get it: his head won’t fit into the jug. And the crane pecks and pecks until it has eaten everything. - Well, don’t blame me, godfather! There is nothing more to treat. Since then, the fox and the crane have been apart in their friendship.”

Did you like the fairy tale? What is this fairy tale about? What can you say about the Fox, the main character of the fairy tale? Was it comfortable for the Crane to visit the Fox? The fox prepared a delicious porridge, but there was no heartfelt preparation for the guest's visit. You probably noticed that there wasn’t even a vase with a bouquet of flowers on the table.

The culture of feasting begins with table setting. The Fox did not give the Crane a spoon. What would you do if you were the Crane? Or maybe Lisa didn’t know how to place the spoon correctly: on top of the plate or next to it and decided not to serve it at all. However, the Crane did not show his resentment. He invited Lisa to make a return visit. Our hero forgot to serve the guest a plate. Why didn't the Crane put the plates on the table? He, like many of us, does not really know the rules of table setting. The end of the tale is instructive: “If you don’t know how to set the table, don’t invite guests.”

Third task (practical)

We will learn how to properly receive guests.. Your task is to set the table, following the rules of table setting.
You have 3 minutes. Ready? I'm going to check. (A large flat plate is placed in front of each place. A small one is placed on it. To the left of it is a fork, teeth up, to the right is a knife, with the blade inward. A large spoon is placed on top of the plate, with the handle to the right. There is also a teaspoon there. A napkin, simply folded, should lie on the plate. The glass for the drink is placed in front of the plate from right to left).

And a little question for the whole class: When you go to visit, in which hand do you hold flowers and a gift? (Remember: flowers should be held in one hand, and a gift in the other)

You have made many mistakes.

The next task is creative

Each of you should tell your classmates as many stupid (impolite) compliments as possible.
Examples of compliments are given on our screen. “As the proverb says, “Learn politeness from the ill-mannered.” Guys, it is impolite to humiliate and offend others. Everyone, without exception, must be treated with respect. None of you stopped your friend when he behaved badly towards others.

Don't forget that nothing is as cheap or valued as much as politeness.

Now please write down your homework. Write down your personal strengths and the weaknesses of your classmates in your notebook. I wonder which column will be longer for you.

Thanks for the work!

Mini scene for the New Year

super prank

Q1 – Happy New Year! B2 - Wait, welcome! Q1 - Why would that be? (The cleaning lady scrubs the floor, rinses the rag, twists it, straightens it on the mop) Q2 - The cleaning lady hasn’t washed the floor yet, and you’re already congratulating her. Where was this issued? B1 - No time to wait! New Year is already around the corner. B 2 - A rag is on the floor. Q1 - We won’t have time to congratulate you, we must hurry. B2 - Well then, go ahead. You'll be the first. Q1 - The holiday comes to us, Brings us happiness So that the next whole year... I got lost, forgot the words. I looked at the mop. Come on... Technician: You have your own job, and I have mine. I, too, maybe want to get my work done on time. Don't interfere. (leaves, quietly behind the scenes changes the floor bucket for an identical bucket with confetti) B2 - Happy winter holiday, friends, We congratulate you…. But the cleaning lady didn’t see it; she didn’t wipe the floor in the corner well. We need to tell her... B1 - Don’t get distracted! Q2 - Or maybe we can congratulate you together? B1 - Okay. The holiday comes to us, brings us happiness; So that the next year will be without anger and worries.

Q2 May you work with success and be proud of each other; May you bloom like flowers, and make all your dreams come true.

Together: Happy New Year! Technician (comes out from behind the scenes with another bucket) - Congratulations? And I have my own job. If I were you, I would have already congratulated you a hundred times. I'll just pour out the water. (impulsively pours confetti from a bucket onto the audience, who are sure that the bucket contains dirty water)

New Year's mini scene

New Year's greetings scene

The New Year tree is decorated with balloons with the inscription “Glück” (small price tags with the inscription “Made in Germany” are attached to the balloons). Characters: two guys. They look at the Christmas tree. - You understood? No, do you understand? - What? - Look! (nods at the Christmas tree) New Year - that's it! — I don’t understand – what is “everything”? - New Year will not come. Kayuk. – What makes you think that the New Year won’t come? - So here it is! Written. Do you see? Read! - Glitch... So what? - Otherwise! What do you think? This was written for a reason! - Really? “Nothing happens for nothing on New Year’s Eve.” Remember! - Well... - The New Year is glitched! Stuck! - Like this? Miracles... - Yes! I myself don’t know how... But it’s clearly written here - a glitch! - New Year? Is it buggy? How's the computer? - Well, yes! Exactly! Stuck!.. – Where? - That's another question! Hard. Where are you stuck? How do I know? In the old year. Fact. - So what are we going to do? - Maybe it’s good that he’s hanging... Let him... No, it’s not necessary. We'll make do. I promised my wife to quit smoking... Ha! They've been waiting for three years for the promised... - And I have a problem... Mine hopes to receive a fur coat in the New Year. Now it’s like a weight lifted off my shoulders! - How can we live without New Year's gifts? Shall we get along too? - We need to be patient... Maybe let's complain... Like, we don't know anything whether there is a New Year or not, but we are entitled to gifts. Legal. And period. - Who should I complain to? - Of course - to Santa Claus! - And where can I find him? Maybe he too, well... - What, Grandfather is glitchy too? - And the Snow Maiden! Maybe they need to be rebooted! Everyone! - What do you mean, Vinda? It’s easy to say, but where is the button? - Maybe there is something written on these balls? Some kind of instruction, or something... (They examine the balls.) - Look, there’s something down here... In small letters... It reads: - Made in Germany - Have you seen it? This is a serious matter! It started with the Germans... From Europe. Now to us... he will come. What the hell... Virus! – On the New Year and without a New Year at all. No gifts. Head spin! - Horror! Santa Claus comes in: - Ah-ah-ah! (they recoil) DM: – Guys! What's wrong? One of the guys: - Grandfather, you are buggy!.. Ghost... - You are not there! Nowhere. Grandfather, you are not real! There are viruses in your beard! DM: How come I’m not here? Am I viral? So that Santa Claus has a runny nose? Flu? Ha ha! First time I hear it! Here are your gifts for a great New Year's number! And don't fool me! (DM gives the guys gifts. The guys accept them with surprise.) - What about the message? From Europe? - About the invasion! About viruses! There you go, grandpa! (point to the Christmas tree) Glitch! 100%! DM (laughs): - This is a wish for happiness! Greetings from Europe! In German, Glück means happiness! Happy holiday to you! - So the New Year will come? DM: – Absolutely! - Eh, now I’ll keep my promise to my wife... - In the New Year... Problem...

New Year's money

1 - No, well, Matryona, can you imagine what’s going on? 3 - The pressure will rise so much that the house will shake! 2 - Yes, even without your pressure the tree is staggering! 1 - What? 2 - Don’t ask! It’s scary to look at my granddaughter. So young, still green!.. 3 - What, maybe, offends you? Does he take money and be rude? 2 - No, on the contrary! Everything is silent, just muttering and muttering to himself... 1 - So maybe he’s sick with something, huh? 2 - Probably, it could not have happened without illness! Previously, the harness was on horses, but now they put it on people too! 1 – How so? 2 - And here he comes with a bridle around his neck, covers his ears, and mutters to himself, sometimes, and jumps up. It’s scary... And they still send him away! 3 – Where? 2 – Don’t you see what time of year it is? New Year! They put me on the bus and bye-bye... on the Christmas tree. There will be a masquerade... 1 - Masquerade? 2 - Yes! They said that without a stallion as bridled as him, a masquerade would not be a masquerade. 3 - What if he gets entangled in that bridle? Will he trip? What then? Oh-yo-oh!... What will happen... And where is the world going? 3 - Horror! 2 - Horror! 1 – No, well, people are completely stupid! They're having a masquerade, you see! We need to write a letter to the president! Complain! 3 - Trouble! What has the school brought us to!! 2 - People have nothing to do! By God, nothing! They're freaking out about fat! 3 - When we were young, we were in a club, we also organized dances without any bridles, only one accordion for the whole village, and the pressure didn’t take over... 3 - Now those dances are called in a smart way. 1 – Boogie-woogie? 2. – Dance! 1 – I need to warm up a little and help my granddaughter at the masquerade... 3 – Otherwise they’ll kill the child! (dance)

SpongeBob and New Year

SpongeBob goes on stage: - People are celebrating the New Year today, but here? What? Just water!... And my square pants. No sparklers, no fireworks, not even a garland! Immediately short circuit! (Eugene Krabs comes in:) - But the firefighters have nothing to complain about! Everything is wet! Why are you hanging your nose, Bob? “It’s New Year’s Eve for people, Krabs, but we have water and ice overhead in winter.” You can't even see the stars! - You're wrong! Do you know how disgusting it is to get wet in the rain? There is vile air everywhere, between the claws and in the pockets, brrrr... You run under vile umbrellas. Who needs it? And here it’s as cozy as in a shell - you won’t get snowed in, an icicle won’t fall on your head, and you won’t twist your neck in icy conditions. - But, boredom! Just sit and let the bubbles bubble. And from above, in the air, there’s a ball! New Year's carnival! Christmas! “Only the arrogant Sheldon Plankton is running around in crowds.” (Patrick Star comes in:) – Don’t you think that a real star can be found at the bottom? Almost Christmas! And what? Bob: - That's an idea, Patrick. Idea! Underwater New Year! Christmas at the bottom of the sea! How do you like it? Krabs: - We still need a Christmas tree for the holiday. Where will you get it? There is nothing else here except water! Star: - I figured it out! Where is Squidfard the blue octopus? He's our best friend! Bob: So what? Star: - Think! How many hands does he have? Either paws or legs! Bob: Eight. Star: - Here! Eight! And that it’s hard for him with such a bunch of hands... Bob: - Legs! Star: - With so many legs and arms, is it difficult for Squifard to hold New Year's toys? Meanwhile, we will lead a real sea underwater round dance! Bob: – People will envy us in the open air! Ha! (to Krabs) What do you say? Krabs: – The Christmas tree still needs decorations! Where can we get it? Star: Maybe Gary the snail will agree? She won't do round dances. Krabs: - It's not bad, but I think Squifard will be against it. Bob: – You need to bring toys out of thin air, nothing else. Maybe Sandy Cheeks the squirrel can help us? New Year's acorns grow on her tree. So we’ll decorate Squifard with them! (Sandy Cheeks the squirrel enters:) - Hello, friends! I just returned from thin air. The New Year is just beginning there! Krabs: - Yes, we know without you! Bob: - We don’t have a Christmas tree or decorations. Star: - Therefore, no New Year will come to us. Belka: - And what should I do? How to fix it? Krabs: - We urgently need to find a tree and New Year's decorations. Bob: – We were thinking of hanging acorns on the tree! Sandy Cheeks: – Acorns? No, no acorns! Where is your Christmas tree? (Squifard enters) Krabs: - Here! (points to Squifard) Almost like the real thing! Squifard: - What? I? Am I a Christmas tree? I'm an octopus cashier! My business is money! Much money! Star: - Me too, only a beautiful starfish! But for the sake of the holiday, I can become a Christmas one! Agree! Squifard: - I don't have any pine needles! Sandy Cheeks: - But you will have Christmas decorations! Squifard: - I don't have any branches! Bob: - But there are arms... legs! Plus you're a musician! Get out the clarinet! (Eugene Krabs runs in with balloons.) - There, above, wow! All: - What? Krabs: - New Year! They're handing out air packs there! They even got to me by accident! They fell on the water! Bob: – What incredible New Year’s toys! (Squifard takes the balls) - With such airy beauty, I agree to become a Christmas tree! (joyfully spins with balloons) (celebratory dance)

Sketch “At a physical education lesson”

(The bell rings. A student in a sports uniform stands at attention on the stage. A physical education teacher comes in)
Teacher: Hello, guys! Pay for the first or second!

Pechkin: First.

Teacher: Why did you come to class alone? Where are your classmates, Pechkin? Are they skipping gym class?!

Pechkin: No, Kristina Aleksandrovna, they don’t skip physical education, they all have good reasons.

Teacher: What good reasons could there be? Pechkin, call everyone here! We need to find out their reasons...

(Pechkin runs away and immediately returns with the truants)

Teacher: Nothing to say, they could have warned me. No, we didn't do that! Apparently your reasons are too serious! Let's start with you, Petrov. Why is there no form?

Petrov: Yesterday I washed my uniform, hung it on the fence to dry, and the neighbor Tuzik stole it and took it somewhere...

Teacher: It’s Tuzik’s fault! Sorry! Petrov, explain why you hung the uniform on the fence? Weren't you lazy? Do you live on the 10th floor? Next time, please dry your uniform on the balcony!

And you, Ivanova, what is your reason?

Ivanova: I have a good reason. Yesterday I was walking home from school and twisted my ankle. The right one... No, I tucked the left one first, and then the right one... In general, I tucked both of them, both at once...

Teacher: What happened to you, Zaitsev?

Zaitsev: Yesterday Vanka from the 10th grade told me that you went to a skiing competition and you won’t be at school today.

Teacher: Where did I go?

Zaitsev: To a skiing competition.

Teacher: You had to come up with that! And you, Kozlova, why didn’t you come to class?

Kozlova: I thought today was Saturday, but today is still Friday. I took all my textbooks for Saturday, you can check my bag. And on Saturday there is no physical education on the schedule...

Teacher: Yes, Kozlova, you have long-standing problems with the days of the week. So, for lack of form and memory, I give you all two marks! Today our lesson will take the form of a lecture. Sit down on the bench, take out your pens and notebooks. The topic of the lesson is “The role of physical education in human life.”

Pechkin: Kristina Alexandrovna, what should I do?

Teacher: And with you, Pechkin, we are working according to plan. You are running a five kilometer cross...

Birthday congratulations sketches with humor

brownie gift

rose and translator

happy birthday valentina beautiful poems

He is Valentine, and Valentines do not spoil the picture of life, they bring goodness to everyone, they create comfort and coziness for us, they set off the colors of life and never lose heart.

memory machine

For the scene, the stage is decorated with sheets. Holes are made in it for the head and arms. The birthday boy sticks his head into the hole and holds a bottle and bottle in his hands.

funny happy birthday greetings

Chicken Ryaba

Theatrical play based on the story by Lyudmila Petrushevskaya “Batty Pussy”

This game can be played after the formal part at the alumni meeting.
Four graduates and four graduates go into a separate classroom to complete an important task - staging the story of Lyudmila Petrushevskaya “Broken Pussy”. Teachers are introduced to the story and have questions answered in advance. Characters: author, Kalusha, Butyavka, Kalushata

Presenter: Once upon a time, students studied Lyudmila Petrushevskaya’s work “Batted Pussy” in a Russian language lesson. Today this masterpiece will be shown on our stage, and teachers should evaluate it from a literary point of view.

Author: Kalusha grabbed the fluff and tied the butyavka. And he wills:

Kalusha: “Kalushata, Kalushata! Butyavka! Author: Kalushata sat down and shook off the butyavka. And they sighed. And Kalusha wills: Kalusha: Oee, oee! Butyavka is ugly! Author: Kalushata got a butyavka. The butyavka shuddered, huddled down and fell off the gun. And Kalusha wills: Kalusha: They don’t shake butyavoks. The butyavki are thick and the zyumo-zyumo are not skinny. The bottles make them smell. And Butyavka yells for the gun: Butyavka: Kalushata got drunk! The Kalushata got drunk! Zyumo are ugly. Damn pussies!”

Host: Let's conduct an ideological analysis of this little masterpiece.

The main character of the story is Kalusha. The next characters in the work are her children - Kalushata and the unfamiliar Butyavka nekuzyavaya.

I would like to address questions to our teachers. Lyubov Sergeevna, what kind of Kalusha do you imagine? Can she be called caring and sensitive? Why? Support your observations with examples from the text.

Lyubov Sergeevna: Kalusha is very caring. When she “respected the butyavka,” she howled: “Kalushata, Kalushata! Butyavka! I think she can be called gentle and sensitive. When she realized that “the butyavka was not a big one,” it was already too late - “the kalushata shook off the butyavka. And they sank."

Host: What do you think, Vyacheslav Petrovich!

Vyacheslav Petrovich: Yes, I agree, Kalusha immediately explained to the Kalushites that “butyavka is not strong” and that “they don’t shake butyavkas.”

Presenter: How would you characterize this work, Lyubov Alekseevna!

Lyubov Alekseevna: “Experience is the son of difficult mistakes” - these are the words of Pushkin that I would generally characterize the plot of this little masterpiece.

Host: Good quote! Very good. Boris Nikolaevich! What are your impressions of the bootyavka? Whose side do you think the author's sympathies are on?

Boris Nikolaevich: The author likes Butyavka. She is resourceful, quickly “got up, huddled down” and “fell off the gun” in time.

Lyudmila Vladimirovna: I don’t agree. Personally, the bootyavka gave me an unpleasant feeling. After all, she is so “ugly”, she was saved only by a miracle. Kalushata “trained” her. And at the same time, she did not fight with the enemies, did not challenge them to their faces, but only “willed for the gun”, gloated: “Battered pussies! Skinny"

Host: The good thing is that you have different understandings of the characters in the work. Now please explain the meaning of the title of the story. Tatyana Anatolyevna!

Tatyana Anatolyevna: I believe that the meaning of the story is contained in the last line, which conveys the main idea: you must be vigilant, otherwise you will be “shut down.” And also master health-saving technologies so as not to get poisoned by something inedible.

Sketch “At a Literature Lesson”

Teacher: Hello, children!
Sit down! Have you read Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol’s story “Evenings on a Farm near Dikanka” at home? For the literature lesson, you had to prepare a retelling of the story you read. Who wants to answer? Forest of hands. Who doesn't have ratings? Dima: You can! Can!

Teacher: Well, go, Dima!

Dima: It was night in one village, and two men went to visit one woman. They loved her. They did not notice how the devil stole the month, and it became dark. One man got lost, and another came to a woman. She treated him and asked him for slippers. They sat down and drank. He loved her, but she didn't. The man brought a bag, and the woman had two bags. He mixed up the bags and took the wrong bag.

Teacher: Dima! Enough! Why don't you call the heroes by name? Have you read the story?

Dima: I didn’t read the story, I watched the film. You said you could watch a movie.

Teacher: Did you watch the movie without sound?

Dima: Why? With sound! There are just a lot of heroes, and I don’t remember them.

Teacher: Guys, do you have any questions for Dima? Dima, did you like the film?

Dima: Yes!

Teacher: What did you like?

Dima: There was one guy who ate dumplings so well.

Teacher: Sit down, 4. Tell me, who from the class read the whole story? Nobody. And who wants to retell it? All!

Have you seen the movie? Well done! Please put your hands down! There is no need to retell it anymore. Guys, we need to talk to you about the problems that we face in literature lessons. The fact is that we speak different languages, and we need to learn to understand and hear each other.

There are task cards on your desks. The tasks are simple. First question! What language are these sentences written in? (in the language of school slang). You must translate, that is, convey the meaning of these sentences. Who's ready? Please, we don’t have time to think, let’s do the task impromptu! Let's start with the first desk.

“Now I’ll throw a little something and you’ll get pumped up” (“Now I’ll show you something – you’ll be very surprised”);

“Children walked along the street and talked to his ancestors in the background” (“The child walked along the street and talked to his parents on the phone”);

“Cool cel haval doga” (“The rich boy ate a hot dog”);

“Kasperych has aged, and the stump is buggy” (“Kaspersky Anti-Virus is outdated, and the Pentium computer makes mistakes”);

“Who do you like better: Yasha or Gosha?” (“Which Internet search engine do you prefer to work in: Yandex or Google?);

“I was hanging out with a chick here and I’m wondering whether to mess with her or not” (“I met a girl and I’m thinking: should I start a relationship with her or not”);

“Are you out of touch? This Smesharik is one of a kind” (“Understand: this cheerful person is from our company”).

Well done, you completed the task. And now we will return to literature. Let's turn to an excerpt from N. A. Nekrasov's poem “Peasant Children”.

Who wants to read a passage with an expression? Please!

One day, during a cheerful winter season, I ran out of the house straight into the frost. I look and am amazed: from the forest to the mountain the Mare is pulling the cart by its own tail. And then I noticed: next to her, a guy was moving around so decorously... this, well, Kolobok. In cool shoes and a rather frail outfit, but he didn’t look tall - a little bigger than boots.

What's wrong here? (This poem is written differently). What should Nekrasov’s poem sound like? Let's remember! Let's start from the first desk! There are three minutes left until the end of the lesson. Write down your homework, the task will be creative: rewrite a poem by N. A. Nekrasov, using school slang.

Thanks for the work! The lesson is over!

Comic scenes for a woman's anniversary: ​​funny short mini scenes

funny short skits for 2 people: pantomime

(On stage, a man in a chair is reading a newspaper. Nearby, a woman in an apron is performing actions.)

Author: 364 days in the life of an ordinary woman are ordinary. She washes the floor, prepares breakfast, sends the man to work, walks the children to school, washes the dishes, goes to the grocery store, irons clothes... But one day everything changes. (The author falls silent) (Actions on stage: three men run out at once - the first takes off the woman’s apron, takes her mop, washes the floor, the second puts the woman in a chair, the third gives flowers, the woman in the chair is busy reading a newspaper, the men wash the windows, do laundry , wipe the furniture from dust, prepare dinner, dance for her and with her... A woman from time to time points her finger to the men at the right job.)

Author: But the holiday soon ends, like all good things. A new day comes, a new morning, and ordinary life continues. (Actions on stage: A man sits in a chair, opens a newspaper, another gives the woman an apron... A woman washes the floor, does laundry, prepares food. The cheerful music fades away, replaced by a slow melody. The actors leave the stage.)

Author: There is one conclusion in this story that I think all men understand - you need to love a woman not only on her anniversary, you need to love her always!

Cinderella scene

the doctor makes a diagnosis

gypsy scene

congratulations to the berry woman

Math lesson

Teacher: Hello, guys!
Sit down! The topic of our lesson: “Theory of Probability.” Write down the date and topic of the lesson “Theory of Probability” in your notebook.

Today we will learn to find the probability of random events in the simplest cases, compare the mathematical model of probability with the real situation, and reason by analogy. So let's talk about a random event and its probability. The first step is to become familiar with the random event. Before us is His Majesty Chance. This is where it all begins. Let's remember together the fairy tale of our childhood.

“A fly walked across the field, the fly found some money...” And what happened next? Children: A fly went to the market and bought a samovar. Teacher: What event did it all start with? Children: From random. The fly found the money. Teacher: Why is this event random? Children: It may or may not have happened. Teacher: Correct. How did the fairy tale end? Children: A fly married a mosquito. Teacher: What is the probability that a fly married a mosquito? Children: She might come out or she might not come out.

Teacher: So, let's write down the theory of probability: Given: two insects, one of them is a fly, the other is a mosquito, In the given we will write down the guests of the fly in the form of an infinity sign. Required: find the probability of a fly getting married.

So could or could not a fly get married? She had one chance out of two, which means the probability of this event is ½.

This same theory will be useful to us to solve the next problem. Let's take the fairy tale “The Little Humpbacked Horse” by Pyotr Pavlovich Ershov. Ivan accidentally saw the Firebird's feather on the ground and picked it up. The Little Humpbacked Horse warned Ivan: “For your own happiness, don’t take it for yourself, it will bring a lot, a lot of peace.” What do you think the whole course of the fairy tale depended on?

Children: From a random event that may or may not have happened (he could have picked up a feather, or he could have passed by.)

Teacher: How did the fairy tale end?

Children: Ivan didn’t listen, but in vain, because of this incident he had to walk a lot around the world, in the end even dive into boiling water.

Teacher: So: let’s write down, given: 1 person - Ivan and 1 horse - Little Humpbacked Horse. Find the probability of Ivan falling into boiling water.

Conclusion: Ivan was warned, he knew that he couldn’t take other people’s things, but he took them, which means the probability of falling into boiling water is 100%.

Let's move on to practice. Before us is a mathematical model of probability. (Uses children's dart board with magnetic darts). It is very important that the magnets hit the middle of the model and do not bounce left and right. What is the chance for each of you to get to the center of the model? Calculate your probability of hitting the center of the model.

Everyone makes five throws. (One out of five, two out of five...) Everyone has an equal chance of hitting.

Probability is a number that shows how many chances there are of random success, of winning.

Guys, today you learned the elementary way of calculating probabilities, became acquainted with the laws of probability theory: A random event cannot be predicted, but its probability can be found. I wish you to learn to realistically assess your chances.