Raising children - it decides their fate and destiny, so parents have no right to make mistakes

For as long as society has existed, adults have been racking their brains for so many years about what the proper upbringing of children should be like. Each individual era and civilization has its own view of this problem. In Ancient Persia, for example, a child who was already 7 years old and who dared to disobey three times was executed. In Sparta, both boys and girls wore rod marks with pride. In Sweden, children as young as 5 years old are fully informed about the differences and relationships between the sexes.

Therefore, for many millennia, the great minds of pedagogy and psychology tried to formulate a concept of education that would be uniform for all times and peoples. To date, this task remains unfulfilled. So what should parents do, what ideas and principles should they follow?

Definitions

Pedagogy and psychology of child upbringing are represented by the most numerous systems and schools. And each of them formulates its own definition of this process, depending on what ideas they put into it.

The definition most often used is that of the Russian-Soviet scientist and physiologist Ivan Petrovich Pavlov. It corresponds to the historical and philosophical approach in pedagogy and psychology and is politically neutral compared to many others. In his opinion, raising a child is the purposeful and time-extended formation of socially necessary relationships to a whole range of formations and substances of the surrounding world: nature, country, people and oneself.

There is no politicization in the term of the world famous educator, teacher and writer Anton Semyonovich Makarenko. His definition of education is one of the simplest. In his opinion, this is the creation of sustainable habits of behavior. Moreover, the scientist-practitioner paid special attention to the fact that learning is a completely different, separate process, the essence of which is different.

Soviet psychologist L. S. Vygotsky, on the contrary, believed that in many situations teaching and upbringing are not only closely intertwined, but also replace each other.

For Western psychological and pedagogical concepts, growing up is not progress, but regression, because the child joins the vicious world of drugs, violence, social inequality and evil. An adult is initially perceived as a sinner who does not have the right to raise pure and innocent little “angels”. He can only teach. This, in fact, is what teachers do in numerous clubs, sections, studios and, of course, schools.

There are so many concepts and so many points of view on what proper upbringing is. This concept has changed over thousands of years and largely depends on society, culture, country, and politics. And yet, psychologists and teachers highlight some common points.

Features of self-awareness

Self-awareness is a child’s understanding of himself, his qualities, and relationships with the surrounding reality. The most striking form of self-awareness is considered to be self-esteem, the way a child evaluates his achievements, personal qualities and capabilities. Initially, the baby does not have the opportunity to evaluate himself, so he uses the position of others. So, if the mother constantly tells the child that he is doing well, this is the position that will be imprinted on him.

In addition, the preschooler’s self-awareness should include:

• understanding of one’s gender (the child recognizes himself as a boy or a girl) and appropriate behavior;
• understanding one’s place in the world, one’s own social position, this most often happens by the beginning of primary school age. A child entering first grade already clearly understands that he is a school student.

The child develops new values ​​and experiences, his inner life becomes more complicated, his actions and behavior change.

It is very important to help him in this difficult process, because only in this way can the baby become an equal member of society

Most often, those children who attended kindergarten have high self-esteem, since their activities were coordinated by a professional teacher and directed in the necessary direction

However, the role of the educator does not negate the importance of communication with parents, relatives, and the environment.

Educational systems

Today, the most common and popular are 4 educational systems (schools, methods):

• Makarenko - the idea of ​​raising a child as an independent member of society with a point of view;
• Sukhomlinsky - a humane pedagogical system, within which there are no punishments;
• Waldorf - subordination of the education system not to the demands of society, but to the laws of children's physical and mental development in accordance with age periodization;
• Montessori is an individual approach to education, allowing each little person to develop at his own pace, through personal experience in an environment specially prepared for this.

Parents have the right to choose one of these traditional systems or find some innovative one. They can take something useful from each and combine them. Despite the different approaches to education, many principles within these concepts have something in common:

What principles of education to borrow from this or that system is up to parents to decide.

Forms

To raise a child to be a full-fledged and successful person, he needs to be developed in many ways. If, for example, we place the main emphasis on occupational therapy, then moral, mental, patriotic and many other aspects will be left aside. Therefore, initially, various forms of education need to be included in classes from an early age.

Kindergarten teachers and school teachers try to use different forms of education to develop a multifaceted personality. However, each of them should be given equal attention by parents at home.

Methods

Educational methods are those methods by which the purposeful influence of an adult (parent, educator, teacher, relative, psychologist) is carried out on the consciousness and behavior of children.

The choice of parenting methods largely depends on age. For example, to organize the activities of preschoolers, it is more advisable to use illustrations, and for older ones - instructions.

The influence of the family on the formation of the child’s character

The development of human character begins at an early age, when mom and dad develop certain rules of behavior in relation to their baby.

Psychologists are sure: it is the family that has a decisive influence on the formation of a child’s personality and strong character in a child. So, what do parents need to consider when raising children from the very first days of life?

Consider the baby's characteristics

You should not mold a baby into an ideal image of a successful and smart child. Be sure to take into account his individual characteristics and temperament, since they are what create a holistic personality.

The most important thing for parents is to focus their efforts on improving character strengths and mitigating weaknesses. Simply put, you cannot grow a strong leader out of a modest romantic.

2. Choose the appropriate parenting method

To help mothers and fathers, many early education methods have been developed, and many manuals have been written. You have heard all about them: these are the systems of Doman, Zaitsev, Nikitin, Cecile Lupan, Montessori and many others.

Each of these methods develops in children those character traits that are needed for a full social life. Of course, it is not necessary to use any one developmental methodology; you can add your own developments to it.

The main thing is not to compare the baby with other children, but to surround him with attention and affection.

Create a customized routine

Newborns and infants require a structured routine, which gives children peace of mind and self-confidence.

In fact, a child up to six months has not yet learned to be capricious; he tries to convey his needs to his mother through screams. And the nature of these requirements will depend on the child’s temperament.

Therefore, try to learn to predict the baby’s desires and determine the periods of his activity and sleep. The correct routine helps to take into account the characteristics of temperament and build character.

Teach by example

We have already said that children do not pay attention to long notations, but repeat after adults. That is why the child’s behavior depends on the parents and the relationships in the family. To develop a strong character in your child, teach him to achieve goals and encourage independence.

The most important thing is that your actions do not differ from your words. That is, start raising a baby... with yourself. This is the first step towards developing strong child character traits.

And yet, even if you are not satisfied with the characteristics of a child’s temperament and character, you should not strive to instantly eradicate these qualities.

Yes, the main personality traits are formed before the age of three, but with proper care and attention, their negative manifestations can be significantly reduced.

So, the character of children largely depends on their innate characteristics, the style of upbringing in the family, and the chosen developmental methodology. But the most important factor is the attitude of the parents towards the child. Under the guidance of a sensitive and loving mother and father, the child will definitely grow into a strong and interesting personality.

Styles

Much depends on the parenting style adopted in the family.

Authoritarian style (autocratic, dominant, dictatorial)

A characteristic feature is the strictest discipline and the unquestionable authority of parents, with whom one cannot argue. They place too high demands on their children and begin to prepare them for adulthood early. In such families, adherence to clear, unquestionable traditions is valued above all else. Yes, you can raise an obedient child in this style, but at the same time he will grow up lacking initiative, depressed and passive-aggressive, and in adolescence he will easily succumb to the influence of others, since he will not have his own opinion.

Liberal (permissive, indulgent, hypoprotective)

Education takes place in a friendly, warm atmosphere. Too trusting relationships are established between adults and young family members when there are no prohibitions and restrictions. This is fraught with the absence of boundaries and established rules that cannot be violated. Children begin to feel that they can communicate in this style with any adult. Outside the home, they will try to control and manipulate others. This interferes with the formation of positive self-esteem and social development.

Democratic (authoritative, collaborative style)

The main thing in a democratic educational system is care, emotional support, attention, consistency, fairness, and sincerity on the part of parents. In such families, adults and children spend a lot of time together, but at the same time everyone has their own personal space, which is respected by others. Everyone has certain rights, but they are necessarily subject to general rules. If you want to raise a successful child, this is the best option. He will grow up obedient, but not dependent on other people's opinions, as happens with an authoritarian style.

Chaotic (inconsistent)

Today, parents strictly punish for the most minor offense and do not allow children to go out later than 9 pm. Tomorrow, carried away by their problems, they forget all their demands, let go of the reins and are not at all interested, even after 22.00, whether the children are at home. Or another example of a similar parenting style: dad doesn’t allow you to eat chips, and mom brings a huge pack from the store. As a result of the absence of a unified system, one of the basic needs of the individual for clear boundaries and stability is leveled out. Over time, this leads to social maladjustment.

Caregiver (child-centered, hypercustody)

Excessive guardianship and suppression of any attempts at independence and freedom on the part of parents lead to the formation of social and personal immaturity. The consequences are laziness, passivity, infantilism, uncertainty, and fear of mistakes. Tight control forces the child to cheat and lie.

These styles of family education clearly demonstrate how large the role of parents is in this process. They must self-reflect, see their mistakes and correct them in a timely manner in order to prevent distortions in the development of the child’s personality.

The role of the children's team in personality development

The priority task of the Russian Federation in the field of raising children is the development of a highly moral personality who shares Russian traditional spiritual values, has up-to-date knowledge and skills, is able to realize their potential in the conditions of modern society, and is ready for the peaceful creation and defense of the Motherland. To solve this problem, it is necessary to create special conditions, one of which is the creation of a team in kindergarten. To begin with, we will define what a children's team is and how it influences the development of a person’s personality, namely a preschool child.

A team is a complex phenomenon; there is an interweaving of feelings, thoughts, aspirations, hobbies of different people, and interests.

L.S. Vygotsky believed that the team acts as a factor in the development of the child. A.S. defined the essence of the team in more detail. Makarenko: “It is impossible to imagine a collective,” he wrote, “if we simply take the sum of individuals. A collective is a social living organism, which is an organism because it has organs, that there are powers, responsibility, relationships between parts, interdependence, and if none of this is there, then there is no collective, but just a crowd or gathering.”

Sukhomlinsky V.A. O.

Based on the analysis, we can conclude that a children's team is a group of children in which they unite for useful activities, that is, the main feature of the team is a single goal around which joint activities are organized. At the same time, the team has a special influence on the development of the child’s personality. We can assume what the collective provides for personal development:

1. Experience of behavior in a team, the value of which is socially significant for a person’s future life.
2. An opportunity to show your individuality and express yourself.
3. Satisfy the individual's need for communication.
4. It is the sphere of her life activity (the child is constantly in some kind of association, entering into various interactions and relationships with other children).

Usually, raising a child in a team begins in kindergarten, as the child finds himself in a new environment. After all, at home the child is the most beloved, adored, and one of the adults will definitely respond to his every word or request. At home, the child also gets used to being told: “You are the most beautiful,” “The best.” But when you get into a children's group, this no longer happens. His worldview changes dramatically, because he turns out to be not the most important and beloved. He can also be compared with others from time to time, for example, “Why can Vanechka dress himself, but you can’t?”, and children can be cruel to each other. It is enough that in the younger group, one girl will tell another that she has an ugly doll or her clothes are terrible, this will affect the psychological state of the child, even leading to serious consequences, if you do not start working on it in time. Therefore, the psychological climate in the team is very important. The most important thing in the group is the leader, that is, the teacher. If he does not devote himself completely to his work, does not give his all, then the children will behave the same way, not showing initiative and interest in common affairs.

That is why the teacher must find an approach to each child and unite the children so that they are interested in each other. State policy also guides us, teachers, to design the educational process with the goal of “... developing responsibility, the principles of collectivism and social solidarity in children,” as stated in the “Strategy for the Development of Education in the Russian Federation for the Period until 2025.”

A. S. Makarenko considered the creation of a team to be the goal and means of education, since the child undergoes school in it to prepare for public life. He viewed the team as a means of influencing the student. “A person cannot be brought up by the direct influence of one person, no matter what qualities this person has,” wrote A. S. Makarenko. On this basis, he made a conclusion about the influence on the developing personality of the teacher and the team. V. A. Sukhomlinsky emphasized that a team is a complex combination of unique individuals; The higher the level of development of each member of the team, the more interesting the team as a whole. “The educational power of the collective begins with what is in each individual person, what spiritual wealth each person has, what he brings to the collective, what he gives to others, what people take from him.” The views of outstanding teachers about the team serve as the theoretical basis for the practical activities of educators. The conditions for the emergence and formation of a children's team are the joint activities and common experiences of children. A complex moral quality - collectivism arises in preschoolers from individual manifestations of social feelings towards peers, based on the need to communicate with them: sympathy, friendliness, empathy, the desire to share something, the desire to play together. Children, going beyond the kindergarten, transmit the knowledge acquired within its walls. After all, a person consists of 80 percent of what he received in kindergarten, the rest is given to him by school and social environment.

Analyzing our own experience, we can identify the main problems when forming a children's team:

1. Watching the children, I discovered that they unite only during the game, in which you can often hear the phrases: “I will be friends with you tomorrow, today I am not friends with you.” It turns out that children manipulate friendships with peers, offering their communication in exchange for something attractive to them. When a child chooses a game, it becomes his own. Some of the children do not want to share, while others find it difficult to wait until they are given in. Because group toys are not perceived by children as common.
2. Children outside the walls of the kindergarten, for example on the playground in the yard, behave completely differently. They stopped teaming up to play games together. Children began to focus more on who is older and who is younger. They build their own hierarchy and status on the playground, depending on the age of the child.

For a children's team, the main means of promoting its formation are various types of activities: gaming, cognitive, labor, communication, artistic and aesthetic, etc., the organization of which must be given special attention. Also, joint experiences caused by positive emotions bring children together and unite them into a team. For example, a matinee in kindergarten, joyful emotions received during a performance, listening to a fairy tale, music, singing songs together - all this causes a storm of positive emotions.

During joint children's activities, the teacher instills in children a feeling of joy from communicating with peers. For this, it is important that the basis of children’s communication is goodwill and a feeling of sympathy for each other, then communication takes on a positive emotional connotation.

Children's relationships are built in the process of role-playing games (didactic and role-playing), and their interests are largely connected with games of an active nature. When playing the game, it is important that children can distribute roles among themselves without unnecessary disputes, and then play, observing all the rules of the game. After all, play is one of the most important and irreplaceable means for uniting a children's team.

To form children’s ideas about how to live in a team, what it means to be good comrades and friends, the teacher can use literary works, look at paintings and illustrations of relevant topics, and conduct conversations.

If the teacher sees that children take into account the opinion and assessment of the team, feel a sense of pride in it, and strive to make their common life pleasant and joyful, it means that the team is sufficiently formed. Any teacher should have games to unite children’s teams in their arsenal. It is these games that will help him not only establish positive contact with children, but also the children themselves to look kindly at each other, arouse interest in their peers, in understanding the individuality of each of them.

Thus, we can argue that the team influences the development of the child’s personality. And the more the teacher pays attention to forming a children's team in his group, the more united the children will be. When creating conditions for the formation of a children's team, it is necessary to take care of both the well-being of each child individually and the general psychological climate of the children's team, so that the children feel happy when solving the common tasks that face them.

Bibliography:

1. Anikeeva N.P. Psychological climate in the team. - M., 1989.
2. Makarenko A.S. The purpose of education. Organization and team structure. Perspective //Ped. cit.: In 8 vols. – M.: Pedagogy, 1984. – T.5
3. Novikova L.I. Pedagogy of children's group. -M., 1978
4. Sukhomlinsky V.A. About education. M.: Political literature: 1975.

Age characteristics

Education must be age-appropriate, take into account mental developments and crises, and the difficulties of each period. And it’s better to start from birth. Psychologists give parents advice on what to focus on depending on how old the child is:

• up to a year - surround with warmth, attention and care, do not spank or scream;
• at 1 year - introduce them to the outside world, teach how to contact family;
• at 2 years old - expand knowledge about the world around you, develop communication skills and motor skills;
• at 3-4 years old - satisfy the need for active motor activity and curiosity, instill communication skills, and form individual contact;
• at 5-6 years old - introduce generally accepted norms of communication with peers and adults.

It is the family education of preschool children that plays a key role in the formation of a small personality. Therefore, parents should spend as much time as possible with them. It will be too late to correct mistakes later.

Starting from 1st grade and up to adolescence, this is a time of active moral education, in which both teachers and parents should take part, demonstrating the moral foundations by their own example. Children comprehend the interrelations of society, the laws of development of nature, the essence of the relationship between a man and a woman. An important task at this stage is to help them reveal their creative potential and teach them to live in society.

With the onset of the teenage crisis, a number of problems arise in education. Even the most obedient children, under the influence of hormones, escape parental control. The important aspects here are tolerance, goodwill and rebuilding trust. Emotional support, a kind word, advice - at this age all this is important for them. Talk more often about the meaning of life and self-determination, so that by the time you leave school you won’t have problems choosing a profession.

Becoming an Adaptive Personality

As children develop as adaptive individuals, they should show signs of being able to persevere when faced with challenges. They must become more and more resourceful and psychologically stable, and cope with failures. They are able to handle stress with confidence and accept that things don't always work out the way they intended. As adaptive individuals, they are able to give up their demands when it becomes clear that they are futile. In other words, they are able to hear the word “no” and accept the consequences that come with it. Adaptive children learn from mistakes, and adults' comments benefit them.

Children 3-4 years old are just beginning to understand the limits and limitations that exist in the world around them.

Tears will be a frequent occurrence for them, especially if they are faced with rejection. If close adults are patient enough to help them work through strong feelings as they face restrictions, children usually come to terms with the futility that is part of life, such as not having cookies before breakfast or running naked in the street.

They will be prone to violent outbursts when frustrated because the parts of their brain responsible for impulse control will not be activated until the age of 5-7 years (assuming development is progressing correctly).

Once children reach 8–11 years of age, they should demonstrate the ability to cope with difficult events, such as exams at school or the loss of their soccer team.

They may still be frustrated by their mistakes, but they are more patient when they do and don't explode with aggression every time. They seem more resilient and resourceful, accepting the inevitable limitations in their lives, and they may even remind younger children of the rules and regulations. At school, they are able to learn from mistakes, demonstrate concern and patience, and they can also persevere when faced with difficult tasks.

When a child enters adolescence, he may protest against prohibitions and restrictions, as he begins to taste the transformation into a separate human being.

When teenagers are already 14-15 years old, it can be difficult for them to hear the word “no”, especially if their peers and culture are pulling them in a completely different direction.

At this age, it is important to continue to maintain relationships with them, imposing necessary restrictions, for example, regarding the use of digital devices or dating. By this age, they should have gained enough experience in dealing with what is futile, and they already understand when it is necessary to insist, and when to change themselves.

General recommendations for parents

Despite the fact that at different times in different countries and civilizations there were specific approaches to how to raise children, there are several general postulates that everyone who takes part in the development of a child’s personality should constantly remember.

If you want to foster independence in your child, give him at least a little freedom. At 3 years old, let him try to tie his shoelaces and put on a hat, and at 15, let him cook a family dinner or get a job in the summer to earn money for his phone. Overprotection and excessive total control in this matter are fraught with the formation of a dependent person who is not adapted to life.

If you want to raise him to be self-confident, remind him more often of how self-sufficient he is. Emphasize your merits, praise for the slightest achievements. But at the same time, from childhood, learn to correctly perceive criticism addressed to you. This will allow you to avoid internal complexes and help you achieve your goals. At the same time, do not forget to work on yourself. If a mother constantly talks out loud about how fat she is and how bad everything is for her, you shouldn’t expect self-confidence and success from your children.

If you want to raise a leader, instill organizational skills from early childhood:

• learn to formulate your own opinion about a cartoon you watched, a book you read, or an action you did;
• teach public speaking;
• entrust household chores;
• make him responsible for a specific event;
• help him find a passion, a hobby through which he can reveal his creative potential;
• ensure meaningful communication with peers;
• discuss and analyze each failure.

If you want to develop leadership qualities in your child, start from early childhood, otherwise it will be too late.

The role of the family in shaping the personality of a preschooler

In the family, everything influences the formation of a preschooler’s personality. Starting from the family structure (the classic triangle father-mother-child or the absence of a father, the presence of other children or grandmothers), parenting style to the accepted forms of expression of emotions.

It is obvious that every child needs a father. If he is absent, the role of the father is inevitably filled by other family members. A preschooler's awareness of maternal and paternal functions is disrupted; boys are deprived of a model of male behavior in the family. Now we have touched only on the characteristics that lie on the surface. Features of family structure are an unusually deep topic.

Some families have a tradition of getting their way through whims and insults. This method is sure to be adopted by children with a choleric temperament. If it is effective, capriciousness becomes one of the main personality traits of the child. Then the problem arises: how to educate without punishment.

Preschoolers quickly pick up on insincere relationships between parents. Having heard that mom is telling dad something that is not exactly what actually happened, the child will very soon resort to half-truths, and then allow complete lies in communication.

You can tell your child how to do the right thing as much as you want. But the main guideline for him will be the statements and actions of significant adults - first of all, parents, and then older children, grandparents.

Personal development of a preschooler is a responsible task for parents

This article briefly outlines the features of the formation of a child’s personality, and what adults should pay attention to

When raising a preschooler, it is important to recognize the independence and autonomy of his personality. A child, despite his young age, has the right to choose and to realize his preferences.

A child, despite his young age, has the right to choose and to realize his preferences.

Problems

Education in the modern, rapidly changing world encounters certain problems associated with the realities of today. They need to be taken into account by both parents and teachers. The most common difficulties encountered:

• lack of free time, which limits communication between family members;
• craze for gadgets, addiction to computer games and phones;
• the widespread spread of the Internet, which does not always bring benefits for the fragile child’s psyche;
• a large number of divorces, destruction of family values;
• the power of money;
• social stratification among classmates, when one half walks around with the latest iPhone model, and the second with push-button phones or without them at all.

In such conditions of modern life, it is quite difficult to raise children correctly, but it is quite possible. Each of the above problems can be solved, unless parents make a mistake in prioritizing.

Types of education for preschool children

Professional teachers identify the following priority types of child upbringing:

• Physical – development of basic physical qualities such as agility, strength, endurance, speed, flexibility and general strengthening of physical health. Parents are recommended to pay special attention to the physical development of the child from the moment of birth, especially since in infancy physical and mental development are quite strongly interconnected;
• Intellectual (mental) – the development of the child’s intellect, his imagination, thinking, memory, speech and ability to self-awareness and consciousness. Children's interest and curiosity must be supported and encouraged in order to feed their mental development and stimulate the desire to receive new information and learn;
• Logical (mathematical) – development of logical and mathematical thinking skills. Formation in the child of skills of analysis, synthesis, generalization, classification, abstraction, concretization and comparison of received information. The child should be taught to solve problems in various ways and the ability to explain the course of decisions with reason;
• Speech - the development of children's speech consists of teaching children the sound, lexical and grammatical components of speech. The task of educators is to constantly replenish both the active and passive vocabulary of children. Teach the child to speak correctly, beautifully, with expressive intonation, pronouncing all sounds, teach the ability to express his thoughts in monologues and dialogues. Speech education is closely related to intellectual and logical education;
• Moral (ethical) – development in children of a system of moral values ​​and qualities, instilling social and family moral norms. Teaching a culture of behavior and communication, developing a personal life position and attitude towards the country, family, people, nature, work, etc.;
• Labor – teaching the child labor skills, developing a conscientious attitude towards the work performed, hard work, diligence, conscious participation in work activities;
• Musical – the formation of musical taste, familiarization with various musical styles and directions, teaching basic musical concepts such as rhythm, tempo, sound and pitch intonation, dynamics, emotionality of the work;
• Artistic and aesthetic – the formation of artistic taste, familiarization with various types of art, nurturing a sense of beauty in a child, familiarization with aesthetic values, development of personal creative preferences.

All these types of child upbringing are aimed at the comprehensive development of the individual in preschool age. Therefore, enough effort and time should be devoted to all aspects of the educational process. In the modern world, parents, and often grandparents, are busy at work. To ensure the harmonious development of children, some types of child rearing are entrusted to professional teachers, tutors, preschool institutions, and nannies. In such cases, close cooperation of all educators is necessary to create an atmosphere of safety and love in the education process, joint control of the content and quality of processes, competent, coordinated, systematic and consistent conduct of classes, taking into account the age characteristics of children.

The task of parents is to responsibly prepare for the birth of a child, become familiar with the types of child rearing and decide on the preschool development of their child so that it is comprehensive and complete at every stage of his growing up.

Literature

If difficulties arise during the upbringing process, parents should not let the situation take its course. Firstly, you should not be embarrassed to ask for help from a professional - a family or child psychologist or psychotherapist will help solve any problem. Secondly, there are thematic, very interesting books that will certainly tell you a lot of new things about the child’s psyche. What can be recommended from the literature on this issue:

1. G. P. Shalaeva and O. G. Sazonova “Rules of behavior for well-mannered children.”
2. M. Ibuka “After three it’s too late.”
3. O. Makhovskaya “100 parenting mistakes that are easy to avoid.”
4. Yu. Gippenreiter “The most important book for parents.”
5. E. Belonoshchenko “Born with character” and others.

The Constitution of the country in which the family lives should also become a reference book. For example, in the Russian Federation, the responsibilities of parents regarding education are enshrined at the legislative level. They are contained in Article 44 of the Federal Law “On Education in the Russian Federation”. Date: 12/29/2012. Search under number 273-FZ. The latest updated version is from 05/01/2019.

In the same way, the responsibility of parents for raising children is spelled out at the legislative level in the “Code of the Russian Federation on Administrative Offences”. Date - 12/30/2001. Search under number 195-FZ. The latest updated version is from 05/29/2019.

Whatever child you want to raise, the main thing is to do it without yelling and punishment. Only by respecting and loving him is it possible to grow a full-fledged, self-sufficient, self-confident person.

Phases of personality development of a child under 3 years of age

• Child adaptation

From the first weeks of life, the baby tries to adapt to the world around him - he masters the simplest skills (eating, moving his arms and legs, crawling, walking). The child slowly begins to master the language and begins to distinguish himself from the rest of the environment.

• Individualization of the child

The baby already understands that he is an individual (although, of course, the meaning of this word is not yet available to him). In the second phase of development, we can notice how the child constantly repeats “I”, “Mine”, “My mother”. This is how children emphasize that they are different from those around them. And it is important at this stage of personality formation to highlight the child’s name, call him affectionately, and come up with diminutive forms of his name. The child’s dignity should be affirmed through his name, so instead of “go away, my good boy,” you should say to the child “Vanyusha did well,” “Anya did the best!” After all, our name already contains a personality, and the child must understand that with good behavior he is called affectionately, but with bad behavior he may not be called by name at all, and this will be an offensive, but instructive lesson.

• Integration

During the integration phase, the child is able to control his own behavior and knows how to control others. With proper upbringing, children begin to understand that not only their own whims are important, but also the desires of those around them - they also need to be taken into account. Adults need to be obeyed and obeyed, but children understand that adults can be manipulated in different ways - by persuasion or by screaming and hysterics. At this phase, it is very important to cultivate a responsive personality, and not a capricious and selfish one.

Parents must take care not only of satisfying all the child’s needs and whims without exception, but also of moral education. The child must understand that not everything revolves around his person, that there are certain obligations to other people, moral standards. Children are not born selfish, they become so as a result of improper upbringing and excessive blind love of their parents.

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and get a guaranteed 10% discount

We work in Moscow and the region. More details by service area.

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