Child independence - how to teach a child to be independent?

What is independence?

When talking about an independent child, we most often imagine a toddler tying his shoelaces without outside help or enthusiastically playing in his room in splendid isolation. However, independence is a broader concept that goes beyond self-care and the ability to entertain oneself. Independence also means:

initiative - the ability to act on one’s own impulse, and not at the request of an adult;
responsibility - readiness to fulfill one’s promises and responsibilities, understanding the consequences that actions can lead to, as well as the awareness that personal success and achievements depend only on oneself;
self-confidence and adequate self-esteem;
ability to set and achieve goals, make decisions.

Not all adults can boast of a full set of these qualities. And at first glance, it may seem that a child does not become independent until high school age. This is a common misconception - in fact, independence is formed in early childhood (at 1.5-2 years), when the child begins to actively explore the world.

In fact, the presence of the above qualities symbolizes the child’s maturation - the more independent he is, the more he resembles an adult. He is able to take care of himself, adequately assess the danger and make a decision in a critical situation. This has a positive impact on your studies, friendships, family relationships and future careers.

What does pedagogy mean by independence?

Independence is not an abstract characteristic. And such activities of children always have a specific focus. Let us highlight the basics of independence for a preschool child:

he must be able to isolate his position in various situations;
he plans his activities without outside help and is even capable of acquiring new skills;
he adequately evaluates his actions, comparing them with the actions of other preschoolers;
he subordinates his games to certain goals, striving to get results.

The child’s action algorithm can be represented as a triad: a motive arises - I make a plan - I get a result. In different situations - play and everyday, the baby must act in accordance with this triad. And the more initiative he takes, the better.

Why does a child grow up dependent?

Most often, the reason for a child’s lack of independence lies in the behavior of his parents. It is parents who make their children dependent by choosing an unsuccessful style of family education, which one way or another stifles children's initiative and responsibility in the bud. These are the reasons:

Excessive control : dictating a child’s actions is convenient - it saves a lot of time, but it only teaches you to follow commands and not set tasks for yourself. He grows up to be an excellent performer, but he is not able to do anything on his own.
Overprotection : in fear for the health and future of the child, parents surround him with excessive care, performing most tasks for him - from self-care to choosing friends. The child gets used to others doing everything for him, and turns out to be unprepared for adult life, where he needs to make decisions on his own, show initiative and bear responsibility.
Inflated expectations : when parents expect certain achievements, while not attaching importance to intermediate successes. In the absence of incentive (praise), the child loses motivation, does not realize the value of his daily efforts and small victories, and his self-esteem rapidly declines.
Unwillingness to accept the child's growing up : some parents find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that a child may have his own opinion - different from theirs; they strive to protect him from mistakes that are obvious to them, prohibiting certain things. This provokes conflicts, and if parents gain the upper hand, the child loses self-confidence and control over his own life.

These are common reasons that encourage parents to suppress children's independence. In practice, in everyday life, this manifests itself in the following things:

parents try to keep their child busy as much as possible, depriving him of free time;
They are used to being overly on the safe side: they don’t leave the child at home alone, they don’t allow them to use household appliances, etc.;
live by the principle “it’s easier to do it yourself than to teach a child”;
fails to demonstrate a worthy personal example.

Nurturing independence is the art of gradually letting go of a child, accepting his growing up, the ability to have his own point of view, make mistakes and learn from them. If this is not done on time, in the future the child will hardly:

will achieve success in his career because he will not be able to defend his professional opinion in the team and before his superiors;
will be able to take responsibility for his family and children because he lacks this skill;
will take risks, strive for change, because he is afraid of the unknown and is not confident in his abilities.

How independent should a child be? Traditional and modern pedagogy about the problem

The development of pedagogical science has led to the fact that the status of the child has been radically revised. And if previously he was perceived exclusively as a dependent family member who needed to be raised without asking his wishes and opinions. That is why the development of independence was not given due time and attention. As the child grew older, this inevitably led to many difficulties. By requiring the child to be able to make decisions, parents did not allow him to fully feel freedom and express himself. Because he has no experience making decisions and behavior in many situations.

Raising a child according to pre-defined, clearly defined instructions may be to some extent convenient for parents, but it is absolutely unacceptable for children. And the main disadvantage of this approach is that the child is completely deprived of independence, remaining infantile and unsure of himself and his own capabilities for many years.

A line of images for independence

When raising children, many parents also try to deprive them of independence, masking this with the appearance of care and overprotection due to age. In fact, such conditions do not allow the child to make independent decisions, and therefore bear responsibility for them. And by protecting the child from mistakes, parents deprive him of the opportunity to gain life experience that is important to him. That is why the development of independence and initiative in preschoolers takes on special meaning.

What is overprotection and its results

Stages of developing independence in children

Independence is a kind of instinct that is inherent in us by nature to ensure the survival of the species. It first appears at the age of 1.5-2 years, when the child begins the “I myself” period. From this age, it is important to encourage expressions of independence, and, if necessary, gently push the child to perform certain actions.

1.5-3 years

This period is accompanied by the acquisition of basic self-care skills: the child learns to eat, drink, dress, wash himself, etc. He is very inquisitive and strives to understand the world around him. It is important to support him in all his endeavors, trying to provide him with maximum freedom, while not forgetting about safety measures.

3-5 years

It is a difficult age when a child begins to feel like an independent person (as it seems to him) from his parents. The need to be independent at this age is very high: the child tries to “grope” the boundaries of what is permitted, argues with parents on any issue, tries to prove that he is right, even if he himself understands that he is wrong. Not all parents are ready for such behavior, and often “kill” the independence of their children with parental authority. By the age of 5, the child:

cleans his room independently (collects toys, makes the bed, puts things in the closet);
participates in cleaning the house (wipes dust, puts things in their places);
helps in preparing food - performs simple tasks under the supervision of parents (grease the pan with oil, add flour to the dough, mix the salad, etc.);
pours himself water or juice from a bag or bottle;
takes care of the pet (able to feed and clean up after the pet).

At the age of 3-5 years, children form a scenario according to which they will later build their lives: the nature of relationships with people, behavior in critical situations, etc. Psychological traumas of this period are what the child will return to throughout his life. own life. The task of parents is to minimize these traumas and form a strong foundation in life that will give the child a good start in life.

6-12 years

When a child enters school, a new area of responsibility appears—study. Gradually, he acquires the skills of planning his time, learns to be responsible for his things at school and in preparation for it (pack a briefcase, take a uniform for physical education, etc.). This is a period when the child is still attached to his parents, but is already quite independent on his own. By age 12 he:

completes homework independently;
has his own household responsibilities along with adults (takes out the trash, fully cleans his room, can buy groceries, etc.);
monitors the cleanliness of his clothes, takes things to the laundry in a timely manner without reminding his parents;
cares for the pet (walks, feeds, cleans without prompting);
treats adults with respect;

By the beginning of adolescence, the child is completely independent in self-care and learning - he does not need reminders or control in these areas.

Adolescence 12+

Personal independence is the last stage that is important to complete on time. At this time, it is necessary to give the child more freedom, to allow him to make his own decisions. If in the early stages parents did not stop the child’s attempts at independence, then in puberty there should not be any serious problems with this.

However, conflicts with parents during adolescence are inevitable. There is an opinion that they are due to the need to separate children from their parents in order to create their own families and have children. A century ago, by the age of 18-20, a person could be called an adult: he was truly ready to create and provide for a family and raise offspring. Today, according to Rosstat, the average citizen of our country gets married at the age of 25-34 years. Modern psychologists explain this by the so-called “epidemic of infantility” of the new generation. That is why they recommend paying great attention to the development of independence skills in children.

Why are children not independent? How it begins

Definitely, every parent wants only the best for their children, takes care of them, tries to protect the child from any failures, some give them excessive custody in almost everything. Such parents are afraid that, having shown independence, the child may make a mistake. Of course, it’s much faster to feed your child while he’s still struggling to bring the spoon with porridge to his mouth, to dress him, to put away his toys for him. But in this way the parents suppress any of his initiatives. As a result, some children grow up to be lacking initiative and helpless people.

Another option is parents who are too strict. In this case, the baby is simply afraid to do something on his own, in case he fails or does it wrong, which could upset his mom or dad. There is only one way out for him - not to show initiative, so as not to bear any responsibility for his actions.

The best time to develop independence in preschool children begins at the age of 2-3 years. It is during this period that children begin to become the most proactive. Watching those around them, they want to perform some actions themselves. The so-called “I myself” period begins.

At this age, the baby begins to realize that he is an individual, separate from mom and dad, tests his independence, what he is capable of, while observing the reaction of adults.

It is very important to allow your baby to be independent; you don’t need to do everything for him. But this does not mean that the little man needs to be allowed everything. This approach can harm or injure the child. It is important for parents to be there, support the baby, help and explain.

What mistakes do parents make?

All parents strive to raise their children to be independent, but sometimes they unknowingly make mistakes that have the opposite effect. The roughest of them:

doing for a child what he is able to do himself is easier, faster, safer, more effective, but more detrimental to independence;
letting your child perform an action on his own, and then redoing it before his eyes - this practice kills the desire to try it yourself next time - why, if the mother will do it much better anyway?
impose help and advice - in this way the child is deprived of the opportunity to try to solve the problem himself; if this happens regularly, this skill never has time to develop;
invade the child’s personal space: burst into the room without knocking, put personal belongings in order, check pockets - such actions deprive the child of a sense of security in his own home;
untimeliness - discrepancy between the set of skills that are being taught and the age of the child;
punish for the consequences - scold the child if his attempt to show independence ended in a complete fiasco (broke a plate, ruined clothes, etc.);
use an imperative tone when communicating with a child - this tone allows you to achieve obedience, but solely out of fear, and not because of awareness of the essence of the problem;
“rescue” at the last moment - coming to the aid of a child who has reached the end, doing housework or homework for him, thereby depriving him of the opportunity to feel the consequences of his disorganization and laziness.

How not to foster independence in a child

Teaching a child to be independent is actually not as difficult as it seems. Often mothers and fathers, wanting to help their baby, interfere with the adequate development of his personality. Of course, when a baby is one or two years old, he is not yet able to fully care for himself, and parents will continue to care for and support their child for many years to come. But this does not mean that parents should always make decisions for him and do any work.

Typical mistakes parents make in raising an independent child

Commanding tone . In this case, the baby’s room will always be clean, but not because he himself wants it, but because he is simply afraid to go against the will of his parents. In this case, adults do not give the right to choose and do not take into account the child’s opinion.
Substitution of concepts. Here the parents do their best to protect the child: “don’t you want to clean up your toys? It’s okay, you’re probably just a little tired.” Substitution of concepts prevents the formation of a sense of awareness. And without this it is impossible to cultivate independence.
Compassionate help. Does your child not take up his homework until the last minute? Moms or dads want to help their child because he is still so small and wants to play. In this case, the child will not learn to be responsible.
Ridicule. Basically, a young child is not yet able to fulfill any requests from adults as well as the parents themselves. He has not yet gained enough experience or dexterity. Under no circumstances should you mock or joke, even in a kind way, about the results of his activities. Otherwise, the baby may lose faith in himself and will no longer want to take the initiative.

How to raise a child to be independent?

No matter how old a child is - 2 years old or 18 years old - it is never too late to help him become more independent. To do this, you should follow simple rules.

Always be interested in the child's wishes and preferences . This applies to food, leisure, profession, hobbies, etc. From the first years of life, a child must firmly know what he wants and learn to make decisions on his own.
Allow to make mistakes and not make a tragedy out of a mistake . Mistakes are an experience; the child must understand that everyone makes mistakes, learn a lesson and try again.
Providing assistance according to the principle “Help me do it myself” is one of the principles of Maria Montessori’s early development method, aimed at developing independence in children from 2 years old. It consists of explaining how to do this or that action on your own, and not performing it instead of the child;
Involve in household responsibilities from an early age . Each child should have his own area of responsibility - this is his contribution to the family as a full member. A two-year-old baby can easily help his mother in the kitchen, put away his toys and wipe the sink after himself. At first, parents should monitor the fulfillment of these responsibilities, then only remind them, and already at school age the child’s responsibility is fully formed.
Make sure that the child has enough free time (at least 1-2 hours a day) . This will help him identify things that are truly interesting to him, and not imposed by parents or teachers.
Consult . Involving your child in discussions about household chores is beneficial for building a child's self-worth. Consult with your child about what outfit you should wear, what to buy for dinner, and what gift to choose for your older brother.
Set a positive example . By demonstrating your best qualities, you create a favorable atmosphere in the family, which has the best effect on the child’s personality.

These are general recommendations that every parent should follow. Perhaps you instinctively follow these tips - this suggests that you have chosen the optimal style for raising your children - democratic.

Here are some more practical tips on how to develop certain qualities in your child.

Complex tasks

Children of senior preschool and primary school age often have difficulty completing complex tasks. They are simply not able to keep in mind all the components and the order of their implementation. To help them overcome these difficulties, you should:

break the task into small blocks (bring clothes from the closet - put on trousers and a T-shirt - put on boots - take a briefcase);
recite each block to the child for several days;
replace verbal accompaniment with graphic or text prompts (pictures or a list of blocks), that is, let the child get ready without your help;
achieve complete independence.

This simple algorithm works even in cases with hyperactive children and saves a lot of time and effort for parents. It can be used for cleaning the room (clear the table, under the bed, on the floor - take dirty things to the laundry - make the bed), table setting (arrange plates - lay out napkins - get cutlery - put glasses), morning hygiene measures (wake up - wash your face - brush your teeth - take off your pajamas - make the bed - put on clothes), etc.

Self-organization

Teaching a child to manage their time wisely is not an easy task, but an important one. Self-organization is not only about punctuality, but also about time efficiency and personal productivity. Some tips for parents:

hang or place clocks throughout the house so that they are always in front of the child’s eyes, even better - buy him a wristwatch (not a smart watch or a smartphone - unnecessary functions will distract him from the main thing);
to speed up the daily routine (washing, changing clothes, breakfast), use timers or hourglasses so that the child learns to quickly get ready for school;
if a student has difficulty getting up early, you can set a new alarm every morning or record a message with a hint where you hid a treat for breakfast, another option is to record his own voice as an alarm melody: children like to listen to themselves in the recording, this will speed up awakening and will make getting up easier.

If you want your child to be independent, do not stop him from taking initiative and making mistakes, be there to make sure he is safe and help if you are asked to do so. Maximum freedom in accordance with age is the most important condition for growing up and the harmonious development of a child’s personality.

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Do as I do

A preschool child takes great pleasure in copying adults in various situations. This way you can develop in your child the ability to wash his face in the morning, brush his teeth, and wash his hands before eating.

Introduce some game elements into the process. For example, do you loudly announce: “Who is going to brush their teeth first today?” “He himself chooses a banana or an apple for breakfast.” In such situations, you support the child in a state of constant but independent choice. He himself decided to brush his teeth, he did it himself, he chose fruit for breakfast. Or you can compete. “Who will be the first to get dressed for a walk”? “Who makes the bed best?” This replay of simple everyday moments allows you to instill in your child the ability to act independently in life situations.

Be sure to model the conditions of personal initiative for your child. Pretend that you paused at the bathroom door. Watch what the child does. Does he wash himself? Brushing his teeth? If so, then congratulate yourself on your small victory and move on. In the “do as I do” mode, you can teach your child to dress and put on his own shoes from an early age.

An independent child: why independence is needed and how to develop it

Before talking about instilling independence in children, it is worth understanding what this quality is and why they need it. Independence, like any other personality quality, does not exist on its own, but must serve certain goals facing the child. The origins of independence appear in children in early childhood.

Why do children need independence?

Independence is a leading personality quality, expressed in a person’s ability to set goals and achieve results through one’s actions, to be personally responsible for one’s actions, the desire and ability to think independently, the ability to act independently and proactively not only in a familiar, but also in a new environment. . A person with developed independence always has adequate self-esteem, he is always responsible for what he does.

It is important to understand that independence is an internally motivated activity. The concept of independent activity should not be confused with when a child can quickly do what adults tell him. There is a huge difference between internal motivation for activity and the ability to act. It is important to understand that for the development of independence, it is the child’s internal motivation that becomes important. In this case, independence is manifested in the child’s choice of a specific activity, his setting of goals and objectives and their implementation, and not in the obedient fulfillment of tasks set by someone else.

Independence and responsibility are built gradually, and you need to start doing this as early as possible.

In today's world, we acutely feel the negative consequences when a parent takes on all the care of a child until adulthood. Whether this is good or bad, everyone decides for himself. It is clear that there is nothing wrong when parents fully provide for the child until graduation, and the child has an excellent opportunity to gain knowledge in a comfortable environment.

Very often in the modern world we are faced with the infantilism of an already grown-up “child” and his inability to bear responsibility not only for the lives of close people around him (family, parents), but also for his own. It very often happens when a guy is already 25 years old, but he has not yet decided what to work for, he pulls money from his parents, and they decide for him when to sleep, what to eat and who to marry. This picture is a consequence of the fact that the lifestyle has changed and the attitude towards children has changed. And if earlier our grandparents became independent and took responsibility for their actions already at primary school age, today, leaving the school desk, many have not acquired this useful quality - independence and responsibility.

In modern city life, raising an independent child is possible not with the help of life’s realities, but in spite of them. And only so!

For example, in ancient times, when our grandmothers and mothers were still children themselves, they were taught to be independent from an early age, because there was no other way out or way to survive. Thus, the parent taught the older child to take care of and look after the younger one not out of his own whim, but out of necessity. While the mother was at work, someone had to do this in her absence. Parents were busy with hard physical labor, and they needed help around the house, in the garden, with younger children, and with livestock. Willy-nilly, children were introduced to work, responsibility and independence. In fact, this “necessity” made children independent and revealed the child’s potential, shaping his personality.

Conclusion: the child needs to be created in conditions where this independence is necessary. Simply developing independence without identifying the need for it is nonsense and a waste of time.

In order for parents in the future not to be frightened by the child’s approach to life, when he will believe that everything is owed to him and will be completely deprived of a sense of responsibility and independence, it is important to create the conditions (“necessity”) for the child to develop these qualities. This should not be as a punishment for the baby, but as an option for each family member to contribute to the family life.

Children who receive everything in childhood and are deprived of the opportunity to show independence, grow up insecure, but demanding of others, the slightest difficulties in life cause them to become depressed.

From many parents you can hear the opinion: “Well, no, as long as I have the opportunity, I will give my son all the best and protect him from any worries. Let his childhood be cloudless, let him grow up as an optimist!” According to psychologists, there is nothing in common between a cloudless childhood, self-confidence and optimism. Imagine how a child feels, who was allowed everything and was protected from everything, when he finds himself in the realities of school life and then adolescence and adulthood. Optimism and confidence will only be associated with the experience of real impact on the world, and not with the words that are spoken to the child. Without giving your child the opportunity to master this world on his own, without encouraging him to take action, but only by serving him, you are raising a person who is unsure of his abilities.

"Strike while the iron is hot!"

It is important to develop independence in a child not when it becomes convenient for parents, but at a time when it begins to develop in children.

The baby shows the first signs of independence at the age of 2 years. When parents hear the first “I myself!”, “I can!”, this speaks of the child’s desire to free himself from adult supervision and to independently realize his ideas and tasks. And here it is important not to stop the initiative towards independence, but to direct it in the right direction, to consolidate the skills of independence that he so far shows only in children's activities, for example, in play.

So, at the age of two, when the baby tries to eat on his own, picks up toys, etc., support him in these endeavors.

At the age of 2-3, children try in every possible way to imitate their parents, trying to still ineptly perform the actions that their mother does, for example, folding things, dressing themselves, packing a backpack, etc. During this period, it is important for parents not to “break off” the child’s desire for independent action, not to make the baby just a passive object.

By preventing a child from taking independent actions (for example, putting on tights or a blouse), you make a grave mistake and create in the child a feeling of self-doubt in himself and his capabilities, he loses the desire for active actions, the desire to do something on his own, self-esteem decreases, the child feels helpless.

During the development process, the baby faces many difficulties. The task of parents is to always evaluate the current situation. If the child is able to cope with the task on his own, do not rush to help him. Only his actions and influence on this world will develop in him independence and a desire for active action in the future, will increase his confidence in his abilities. In a difficult situation for a child, when it is really difficult for him to cope with a task alone, offer him your help. It is help, and not your full presence, eliminating him from action.

Don't try to do for your child what he can do on his own!

With the right attitude towards the child’s “I myself!” By older preschool age, children achieve high levels of initiative and independence in solving problems set by them or others.

Stages of development of independence in preschool children

At the first stage, the child acts independently without reminders from adults in his usual conditions, for example, putting away toys after himself, clearing the table, washing his hands before eating.
A preschool child begins to use his skills in an environment that is unusual for him, but close in essence to familiar circumstances. For example, he cleans up after himself when visiting.
The baby acts independently in conditions that are completely new to him, which he has never encountered before.

Benefits of developing independence in children

The main task of parents in this direction is to teach the child to make decisions independently, set goals and go towards them, taking responsibility for their actions. Parents should pay enough attention to this stage of the child’s development. The main advantages that a child who is taught to make independent decisions and take responsibility for them receives are:

The child feels that he can control the situation;
Increases self-esteem and self-confidence;
A child with adequate self-esteem learns to correct the mistakes he has made and does not feel like a failure;
Self-motivation, responsibility for the choices he made;
The child develops thinking and creativity. In a situation of choice and decision-making, the child has to generate new ideas and look for opportunities;
The child learns a non-standard solution;
Better understanding of the people around you. When a child makes his own decisions and his decisions are valued, he begins to respect the ideas and decisions of other people.

Why parents should be especially attentive to their child’s development of independent activity. The fact is that a child who does not develop independent decision-making skills is prone to:

To infantilism and pathological dependence on parents even as an adult.
Such a child is easy to influence by peers and friends; he is a follower. This influence is not always positive.
Constantly doubts himself, his abilities, and his decisions.
He is content with little in his life and is not inclined to set goals and achieve results.

So, how can you instill independence in a child, which largely determines his success in life?

Raising independence in children

Requests to tell what future plans the child has (for the near future) help develop independence in children.
Allow your baby to do what he wants without your help. Give him the right to participate in adult affairs. It is clear that the baby will clean the house or prepare a salad differently than you would do it. But don’t pull him back or reproach him, but on the contrary, encourage him and guide him.
Never scold your child for mistakes he made in the process of independent activity. You can point out mistakes and tell your child how to correct them. For example, if your child was watering flowers and spilled water on the windowsill, calmly invite him to wipe the window sill himself.
Make it a rule to praise your child for his initiative. The child must be given the understanding that he has the right to act independently.
It is equally important to support the child’s desires and interest in some activity from an early age. For example, if your child wants to go swimming, do not suppress this desire in him, but sign him up for a swimming class.
Be sure to ask your children for help, ask them for advice. This is important for the child to understand his role in the family and his value.

Teach your child to get what he wants through actions. Tell us where you work and how food and things come to your family.
Develop your child's imagination. To do this, you can invite the child to come up with his own game or new rules for the game. Thus, the baby will generate ideas and learn to adapt to any circumstances.
Helping animals and other people teaches children compassion and independence.
Allow your child to communicate with many people, children. Finding a common language, interests, and establishing contacts is one of the elements of independence. Allow your child to be friends with those with whom he himself wishes.
Build adequate self-esteem in your child. To do this, allow him to experience emotions, whatever they may be. There is no need to teach him to hide his tears or laughter, if this is customary in society.
Create conditions for your child to develop independence. The sooner you begin to “break away” from your child, the faster he will understand that parents and other adults also have personal space. Teach from an early age to leave your child with his grandmother or nanny.
Always talk to your baby. Give him the opportunity to express his opinion. This is also a manifestation of independence. Children who have their own opinions are quicker to turn ideas into decisions and actions.
Teach your child to make independent decisions. Remember that the child must make decisions and choices in accordance with his age. Therefore, when offering your child options to choose from, adhere to the following rule: the younger the child, the fewer options to choose from; the older, the more options to choose from. You must create a safe environment for your child to make decisions.

Independence is not just the ability to do everything yourself, but a necessary skill for the development of a harmonious personality.
Be patient and allow your baby to grow into a free, courageous and purposeful person. Return to section

Theoretical foundations for the development of independence in preschool age

The source of the development of personal independence is social experience, which, refracted by the internal conditions of each growing person (his inclinations, interests, inclinations and abilities), becomes his own achievement and one of the means of manifestation of individuality, full disclosure of personal potential, unique individuality in coping with the position of the subject in various types of activities.

The practical meaning of autonomy is that it helps a person to establish truly humane relationships with other people, based on what is called mutual respect and mutual assistance. Without autonomy, people cannot live together, work, live, or maintain economic, cultural and social relationships.

Independence is a complex character trait. It affects all aspects of human life and activity. It manifests itself in cognition, the use of existing knowledge, skills in all types of activities, behavior, assessments, judgments, a person’s attitude towards himself, his affairs, etc.

Currently, there are various definitions of independence, each author understands the meaning of this word in his own way, hence the variety of definitions that differ from each other. One of the leading US experts in the field of pediatrics, child psychology and psychiatry, Alan Fromm, defines autonomy as follows: “Growing up means, first of all, learning to do everything yourself.” Indeed, the main characteristic of childhood is the dependence of the little person on his elders. Growing up means gaining independence.

The problem of educating an active and independent individual has always been one of the most important psychological problems in the history of pedagogy. To develop this quality in a child, D.I. believed. Pisarev, one should not prevent him from being active and independent, one should not limit his activity and independence. This is the essence of the paradox: independence and activity as a personal quality can be formed through active and independent activity, which in this case is a factor in education. If a child is not taught to think and act independently from preschool age, he may develop into an honest and friendly, but shy and indecisive child.

The basis for a practical solution to this problem should be laid during the first family and public preschool education. However, speaking about fostering independence, D.I. Pisarev warned: early independence in the absence of proper pedagogical guidance will either spoil the child’s character or give him special strength.

In the pedagogical encyclopedia, the concept of “independence” is considered as one of the qualities of a person and is characterized by two factors: first, the totality of means, knowledge, abilities and skills that the person possesses; secondly, the attitude of the individual to the process of activity, its results and conditions for implementation, as well as to the connections with other people formed in the process of activity.

These two factors are interrelated, for example, if a person has an incentive to act within the framework of a specific task and has a desire to refuse outside help, then he has the necessary motivational predisposition to independence. But if he does not have the appropriate knowledge and skills, then to characterize such a person we can say that he is self-confident, etc., but not independent. If a person has the necessary amount of means to perform an activity without outside help, then the lack of necessary motivation does not allow him to perform actions without external stimulation; we cannot attribute to him such a personality quality as independence.

Analysis of various definitions of self-attitude allows us to conclude that the manifestation of self-attitude is considered every time in any area of relations with people (A.A. Smirnov); in cognitive activity (I.K. Novikov); in behavior (A.A. Lyublinskaya); in design (F.V. Izotova). Although such definitions reflect some aspects of autonomy, teachers typically note that autonomy is a person's ability to use his or her own intellectual and practical efforts to set and achieve goals.