A child’s self-esteem is an indicator of success in adulthood. Psychologists say that a correctly formed assessment of personal qualities, both external and internal, ensures a happy life. There are certain stages in the formation of self-esteem in children of preschool and school age. For it to be adequate, parents should pay attention to its development and correction, if necessary.
Forming a child's self-esteem
Children's self-esteem is formed through the judgments of adults, namely parents and teachers. From birth, the baby has no idea how to behave; upbringing plays an important role. The kid pays attention to adults’ assessments, their reactions and tries his best not to disappoint.
You need to make it clear to your child from the very beginning that the world is not ideal and that he cannot know and be able to do everything. Help him open up and discover his talents. Each person is talented in his own way, and it depends on his parents how his fate will turn out. The kid pays attention to his appearance and compares himself with his peers, don’t miss this moment and don’t let him develop complexes.
Development of self-esteem in preschool age
The primary layer of a child’s self-esteem can be compared to a fluffy cloud – emotional and positive. Every child sees himself through the eyes of loving parents.
The preschooler learns the types and criteria of assessments in communication with adults. The child hears how his actions and activities are evaluated, pays attention to the evaluation of others and applies this to himself.
A preschooler strives to meet the demands of adults. He is sensitive to comments “this is good” and “this is not possible”, “this is bad”.
In productive activities and work activities, children discover their own capabilities, thanks to which they develop self-esteem of their achievements.
In independent activity, self-esteem manifests itself as the ability to correlate the result obtained with the one expected by the child. Seeing the discrepancy between the result and the initial plan, some preschoolers give up their idea. But many people stubbornly try to redo their work and do better. In both cases, self-assessment is involved. Although faith in one’s abilities and skills manifests itself only in the second case.
A preschooler's self-esteem is formed under the influence of the assessments of significant adults. If a child hears negative statements about the results of his efforts, then he will also underestimate his abilities. And this does not in any way contribute to the desire to redo the work and achieve a better result. The general positive assessment of an adult, interspersed with targeted comments on where and what the child is able to correct, strengthens faith in oneself and one’s skill.
Formation of self-esteem in younger preschoolers
Already in early preschool age, the child expects recognition of his achievements from adults. Whether he molded a bun out of plasticine or fastened buttons - no matter how significant the result - the baby wants to hear words of admiration from those around him. He cannot yet set criteria for the success, or, conversely, failure, of his actions. Adults admire and praise - so the child considers himself successful.
For example, having heard from the mother “How beautifully you drew!”, the child will undoubtedly consider both his drawing to be good and himself to be skillful in drawing. And having witnessed the praise of other children, “What a great Dima! I put all the toys away!” - a preschooler is trying to prove himself in some activity in order to also become a “good guy.”
A feeling of pride in one's achievements is a psychological new formation of early preschool age and forms a solid foundation in the formation of self-esteem.
At 4 years old, children do not associate self-esteem with their successful or unsuccessful experiences. They are completely guided by the evaluative statements of others.
By the age of 5, preschoolers consider themselves good, pointing out their positive qualities: sharing toys, obeying their mother, etc. At this age, children evaluate themselves by comparing with their peers.
The development of self-esteem goes through 4 stages
Psychologists identify 4 main stages in the development of children's self-esteem. Each stage is of great importance and mistakes cannot be made in any of them. A person’s character is formed from the first minutes of birth.
Stage 1 – from birth to 18 months
A reverent stage built on internal sensations and tactile contact. A newborn develops trust in the world around him through the care and guardianship of his parents. The first attachment in life appears and the baby already gives preferences in communication. All this is based on unconscious instincts, but still, have you noticed that the baby willingly goes to the arms of some, and may burst into tears at the sight of someone.
The power of a mother's hug is incredible and can do a lot. Adequate self-esteem is formed if parents positively evaluate the baby. Naturally, a newborn will not understand if you tell him this directly; he distinguishes only an emotional assessment: a kind look, hugs, soft touches, a kind and calm timbre of voice.
Stage 2 – from 1.5 to 3-4 years
At this age, the baby becomes incredibly inquisitive and active. He is interested in absolutely everything, and the formation of self-esteem depends on how his parents react to his interest. Don't criticize everything, give them a chance to feel independent. Of course, you can control the situation, but do it delicately. Now everything is in the hands of the parents: whether your child grows up to be an autonomous or dependent person depends only on you. The child is already able to understand that responsibility for his actions lies with him, and not just with his parents. Just do not give a personality assessment in case of an unsuccessful attempt. It may be worth trying again, or perhaps the action is simply bad and should not be repeated.
Stage 3 – from 4 to 6 years
At early preschool age, children begin to take a closer look at themselves and their place in society. For example, they think about how many friends there are in kindergarten and why someone doesn’t want to be friends. The child looks for the reasons for what is happening within himself. Let's say the older brother is not in a good mood today and scolded the younger one. The kid does not understand what he did wrong, but still looks for reasons in himself. At such moments, it is important that adults give an explanation for this action, that the brother is just in a bad mood, but he treats the younger one with love and loves him. Consider whether you have set too many limits and whether children have the opportunity to take initiative.
If your child constantly develops a feeling of guilt for the actions of other people, this is not normal, pay close attention to the child’s process of self-realization.
Stage 4 – school years from 6 to 14 years
The final 4th stage is the longest, most interesting and dangerous in the process of forming children's self-esteem. At this age, a love of work is established and a focus on results begins. The child’s rejection in the society of his peers creates isolation and rejection in him. It may happen that the child loses interest in an activity that he was interested in most recently. This apathy is a consequence of the teenager’s rejection in the team. He loses faith that he is capable of completing tasks and achieving success on an equal basis with others. Sometimes it happens that the most talented and gifted children can withdraw into themselves and lose faith in their own abilities due to difficult relationships in the team.
Prerequisites and stages of formation of self-esteem
The unborn baby begins to develop self-esteem. The fact of the emotional connection between mother and child has long been proven. A woman’s experiences directly affect the fetus. If the pregnancy is desired, the mother happily carries the baby; its cellular memory is able to record this fact. This accordingly influences the emergence of important personal qualities that remain with a person throughout his life.
After the baby is born, the development of his self-esteem occurs in four stages:
From birth to one and a half years
This is the period of tactile sensations, when the baby learns the world through touch, the care of parents and loved ones. The desired baby already in utero receives subconscious information that he is needed and significant. Once born, he needs appropriate care from his family. In infants, the analysis process is absent, but a picture emerges unconsciously:
- fed on time, lulled to sleep, played with - it means “I’m good”;
- they forgot, cry for a long time, don’t pay attention - “I’m bad, no one needs me.”
That is, from the first day of life it is important to provide the baby with enough warmth, care, and attention.
From one and a half to 3-4 years
During this period, children actively explore the world. They do this in various ways. Along with constructive actions, destructive ones can also be observed (unscrewing the wheels of a car, etc.) Depending on the reaction of loved ones, certain aspects of self-esteem are formed. Criticism and outright negativity are unacceptable. It is better to control the situation by acting subtly and delicately. It is necessary to make the baby feel independent, capable of taking responsibility for what he has done. And if something doesn’t work out, support and offer to try again.
From 4 to 6 years
Middle and senior preschool age is characterized by the emergence of awareness of oneself and one’s place among peers. It is important to a child how many friends he has, why someone doesn’t want to communicate with him, etc. When analyzing the situation, the child tends to look for the reason in himself. Therefore, if dad is tired and does not want to play ball, he should explain this to his son or daughter. Otherwise, the child will decide that the reason for his reluctance to communicate lies in his bad behavior. He will think and remember what he did wrong. That is, an unjustified feeling of guilt will appear, which negatively affects the formation of self-esteem.
From 6 to 14 years old
A difficult, interesting, lengthy stage. Here comes the formation of such qualities as:
- interest in the labor process and achieving results;
- assessment of his actions by other team members.
A child may have an unusual hobby, but rejection of his interests by others can negatively affect his development. A person will simply lose confidence in himself due to difficulties and misunderstandings in the team.
Mistakes should not be made at any stage in the development of a child’s self-esteem. Every missed moment will affect the life position of an adult.
How to build adequate self-esteem
First of all, I would like to note that adequate self-esteem is an important indicator in the formation of an individual’s mental health. Such a person is able to perceive reality as it is and, without trying to change the world, easily adapts to life. The success and comfortable existence of an individual in society depends on adequate self-esteem. If you are determined to raise a healthy and happy child, and this is what all parents dream of, think about your behavior.
There comes a period when girls copy their mothers, and boys copy their fathers. Much depends on the attitude of parents towards each other. And remember that children have very developed intuition. Don't try to deceive them with an external picture. If mom or dad are not confident in themselves, cannot defend their opinion and constantly complain about life, you should not think that the baby does not notice this. Below we describe in more detail several effective techniques for developing adequate children's self-esteem. Check yourself to see if everything is fine in your family.
Check whether excessive conditions have been created
Let's say you start to notice that your child is overly criticizing himself. Expressions began to appear in his vocabulary: “I can’t do anything,” “I’ll never succeed,” “I’ll never be able to.” Let's figure it out. The key point here is: “they began to notice.” That is, before the child was cheerful, showed interest in knowledge, and suddenly it doesn’t work out and he doesn’t want anything.
Let's look at an example. Two girls studied in 5-A: Masha and Katya. Both were diligent students, were very friendly, and their parents also communicated well with each other. At one of the family holidays, Katya’s mother said that her daughter has an incredible talent for drawing and she is very happy about it. “Drawing is wonderful, not like some dangerous sport,” the woman said.
For some reason, Masha’s mother immediately decided that the children should definitely go to classes together, without finding out whether her daughter had this talent. “All children love to draw,” she thought. Less than two months had passed when the teacher noted Katya and began recommending her works for all kinds of children's competitions, and the Machines' works were mediocre children's drawings. The girl lost faith in her own abilities, began to study worse due to lack of self-confidence, and did not even want to be friends with her friend, who turned out to be more successful than her.
Everything could have turned out differently if Masha’s mother had not created inflated conditions for her.
Do not force anything on your children, rather help them decide on their desires, and if the child does not have any special talents, praise him for good grades, because this is his work. Just don’t compare him with others in his favor, this may have negative consequences in the future.
Peer opinion
Indeed, the opinion of peers is very important. First, understand the situation: if someone said something bad about your son or daughter, this is not a reason to run to school to restore justice. The child's psyche is a fragile thing and breaks very quickly. The criteria for assessing children are very high and sometimes defy logic.
Children may mock only because a peer is slightly fatter or is a better student than others. If there is open bullying, it is better to transfer to another school. Most likely, absolutely normal and adequate relationships will develop in the new team. Give your teenager a chance to correct the situation on his own and feel important in the team. Have a conversation about what not to do. Remember, you should not criticize your child. You can evaluate actions, but not a person.
If the situation is not critical and the teenager asks for some non-standard items in his wardrobe, so as not to stand out from the crowd of his peers, ask him to justify his request. If he wants ripped jeans, and he made this decision on his own, then why not. Sometimes it is better to sacrifice your parental principles for the future benefit of the whole family.
Praise
Children and adults are very similar. Unless an adult has more responsibility. If the question arises about how to help increase children's self-esteem, listen to yourself. To help you? That's right, praise! You like it when management praises you, even if without a promotion and without an increase in wages, but how nice it is to hear praise for the good result of the work you have done.
So the baby is pleased when you praise him. Just praise for what you do, and not just like that. A developing personality must have a clear understanding of what is good and what is bad. This is how adequate self-esteem and assessment of reality as a whole are formed.
Overcome difficulties
Here again there is an intersection with adult life. For example, you have a catastrophic lack of time to go to the gym, but the desire to get your dream figure outweighs. After a hard day at work, you rush to the gym and after a few months the long-awaited result is noticeable. Would you be proud of yourself? Naturally, yes! Increased self-esteem is guaranteed.
So it is with a child’s self-esteem. Overcoming difficulties, the baby will learn to respect and love himself. You should not aim at global tasks. Start small. Let the baby do pull-ups on the horizontal bar with daddy's help 3-4 times. Achievement? Certainly! Don't forget to praise your son.
Girls, especially in adolescence, are not confident in their beauty and attractiveness. Uncertainty takes a huge toll on self-esteem. Take your daughter to a salon or a photo shoot. See how her mood changes. Transformation in appearance and self-acceptance is an important point in the formation of adequate self-esteem.
Features of self-esteem in preschool children
Glavatskikh Marina Stanislavovna
Features of self-esteem in preschool children
One of the most significant and relevant topics in psychology can be considered the problem of the formation of self-awareness and self-esteem of an individual . Self-esteem is one of the essential conditions due to which an individual becomes a person. It creates in an individual the need to correspond not only to the level of others, but also to the level of his own personal assessments. Correctly formed self-esteem acts not simply as knowledge of oneself , not as the sum of individual characteristics, but as a certain attitude towards oneself, presupposes awareness of the individual as some stable object.
In determining the various types of self-esteem of children of senior preschool age, they note : children with inadequately high self-esteem , with adequate self-esteem and children with low self-esteem .
Positive self-esteem is based on self-esteem , a sense of self-worth and a positive attitude towards everything that is included in the circle of ideas about oneself . Negative self-esteem expresses self-rejection, self-denial , and a negative attitude towards one’s personality.
Children with adequate self-esteem in most cases tend to analyze the results of their activities and try to find out the reasons for their mistakes. They are self-confident, active, balanced, quickly switch from one type of activity to another, and persistent in achieving their goals. They strive to cooperate and help others, they are quite sociable and friendly. When faced with a situation of failure, they try to find out the reason and choose tasks of somewhat less complexity. Success in an activity stimulates their desire to attempt a more difficult task. Children with adequate self-esteem tend to strive for success.
Preschoolers with low self-esteem in behavior are most often indecisive, uncommunicative, distrustful of other people, silent, and constrained in their movements. They are very sensitive, ready to cry at any moment, do not strive to cooperate and are not able to stand up for themselves . Children with low self-esteem are anxious , unsure of themselves, and find it difficult to engage in activities. They refuse in advance to solve problems that seem difficult to them, but with the emotional support of an adult they easily cope with them. A child with low self-esteem appears slow. He does not begin the task for a long time, fearing that he did not understand what needs to be done and will do everything incorrectly; tries to guess whether the adult is happy with him.
The more significant the activity is for him, the more difficult it is for him to cope with it. Children with low self-esteem tend to avoid failures, so they have little initiative and choose obviously simple tasks. Failure in an activity most often leads to abandonment.
The development of self-esteem in preschool children depends on many factors. Factors of individual characteristics of self-esteem in older preschool age are determined by a unique combination of developmental conditions for each child.
In some cases, inadequately inflated self-esteem in older preschool age is due to an uncritical attitude towards children on the part of adults, poverty of individual experience and experience of communicating with peers, insufficient development of the ability to understand oneself and the results of one’s activities, and a low level of affective generalization and reflection.
In others, it is formed as a result of excessively high demands on the part of adults, when the child receives only negative assessments of his actions. Here, high self-esteem will serve more of a protective function. The child’s consciousness seems to “turn off”
: he does not hear critical remarks addressed to him that are traumatic to him, does not notice failures that are unpleasant for him, and is not inclined to analyze their causes.
Somewhat inflated self-esteem is most characteristic of children who are on the verge of a crisis at 6–7 years of age. They are already inclined to analyze their experience and listen to adults’ assessments. In the conditions of habitual activity - in a game, in sports - they can already realistically assess their capabilities, their self-esteem becomes adequate.
It is believed that the inflated self-esteem of a preschooler in the presence of attempts to analyze himself and his activities carries a positive aspect: the child strives for success, actively acts and, therefore, has the opportunity to clarify his idea of himself in the process of activity.
Low self-esteem in older preschool age is much less common; it is based not on a critical attitude towards oneself, but on a lack of confidence in one’s abilities. Parents of such children , as a rule, place excessive demands on them, use only negative assessments, and do not take into account their individual characteristics and capabilities .
low self-esteem in the activities and behavior of children is an alarming symptom and may indicate deviations in personal development.
The development of adequate self-esteem , the ability to see one’s mistakes and correctly evaluate one’s actions is the basis for the formation of self-control and self-esteem . This is of great importance for the further development of the individual, the conscious assimilation of norms of behavior, and the following of positive models.
Summarizing the considered ideas about the essence of self-esteem in foreign and domestic psychology, we can highlight the main directions in determining the understanding of self-esteem . The study of self-esteem is possible in the structure of personality, in the structure of self-awareness , in the structure of activity.
Self-esteem is one of the forms of manifestation of self-awareness , the evaluative component of the “I-concept”
, an affective assessment of an individual’s
self- , which can have varying intensity, since specific features of the “self-image”
can cause more or less strong emotions associated with their acceptance or condemnation.
Senior preschool age can be considered important in the development of a child’s personality. The older preschooler develops the most complex component of self-awareness - self-esteem , and arises on the basis of knowledge and thoughts about himself.
The development of self-esteem occurs throughout a person’s life. and its features are manifested in play, as the leading activity .
In older preschool age, the child separates himself from the assessment of others. A preschooler’s knowledge of the limits of his strength occurs on the basis of communication with adults, peers and his own practical experience.
As the diagnostics of self-esteem of preschoolers showed, preschool children had different levels of self-esteem : 35% - high level, 30% - high, 25% - average, 20% - low level. It is considered normal for children of this age to rate themselves highly. A low level of self-esteem indicates a negative attitude towards oneself and lack of confidence in one’s own abilities. This is a very serious violation of the personality structure, which can lead to depression and neuroses in children . As a rule, this is associated with a cold attitude towards children, rejection or harsh, authoritarian upbringing, in which the child himself is devalued, who comes to the conclusion that he is loved only when he behaves well. And since children cannot be good all the time, and certainly cannot meet all the claims of adults, fulfill all their demands, then, naturally, children under these conditions begin to doubt themselves, their abilities and the love of their parents for them. Children who are not taught at all at home are also unsure of themselves and of parental love. Extreme neglect of a child, as well as extreme authoritarianism, constant guardianship and control, lead to similar results.
The answers to the question of where adults will place them - dad, mom, teacher - speak specifically about the attitude of parents towards the child and their requirements. For a normal, comfortable feeling of self , which is associated with the emergence of a sense of security, it is important that one of the adults puts the child on the highest level. Ideally, the child himself can place himself on the second step from above, and the mother (or someone else from the family)
puts him at the highest level.
To develop adequate self-esteem in preschool children, we have compiled a program based on traditional and modern principles, which is individually differentiated in nature and involves not only working with children with low self-esteem , but also with all children, their parents, educators and teachers -psychologist.
The work carried out made it possible to formulate a number of specific recommendations for educators, parents, and teachers who have real interaction and communication with children.
When analyzing the results, first of all, pay attention to what level the child has placed himself on. It is considered a positive sign if children place themselves at the level of “very good”
or even
“the best”
.
In any case, these should be the upper steps, since a position on any of the lower steps (and even more so on
the lowest ) indicates a clear disadvantage in
self-esteem and general attitude towards oneself.
Based on the results obtained, we can conclude that almost the majority of children in this sample (75%)
Quite high
self-esteem and 25% have adequate self-esteem .
Why is self-esteem needed?
Self-esteem helps you adequately assess your strengths and capabilities. The child can also evaluate actions and divide them into good and bad. If a child is motivated correctly, then self-esteem helps him gather strength and not give up at the first failure in completing a particular task. The role of self-esteem in a child’s life is very important.
The most common values for a child’s self-assessment include the following roles:
Self-assessment performs the following functions:
- motivates;
- develops the ability for self-analysis;
- teaches;
- stimulates.
It is thanks to adequate self-esteem that children are able to study well, engage in their favorite hobbies and build healthy relationships with peers.
Self-esteem of a junior schoolchild: diagnosis
We understood the importance of adequate self-esteem. Now it's time to talk about diagnostics. A depressed mood will not always tell you about low self-esteem. Sometimes it happens that a cheerful and active child in the family feels like a complete stranger among his peers. He is afraid of being misunderstood and therefore keeps his opinions to himself. School psychologists conduct tests that can help determine a child’s level of self-esteem. After all, this question is of interest to both teachers and parents.
Methodology for determining self-esteem in primary school age
It is worth noting that adequate self-esteem in school-age children is very rare. Most often it is either overestimated or underestimated. In this case, there is no need to sound the alarm, just watch the student more closely. At this age, instability is more the norm than a deviation. But the child’s future depends on how accurately parents and teachers can unobtrusively help their child. So, there are several methods for determining the level of self-esteem in schoolchildren:
- The teacher invites children to portray themselves as a loved one or, in general, any fairy-tale character with a fictitious name. Describe the qualities that the character is endowed with, and on the basis of this, an experienced specialist is able to determine what kind of personality is hidden behind this or that drawing.
- An integrated approach to the problem involves the development of special surveys. After analyzing the students’ responses, the psychologist will determine the adequacy of each person’s self-esteem and deviations from the norm.
- At first glance, the last method is the most primitive: depict yourself on a piece of paper. But that's not true. The child draws himself as he wants to be, and based on this drawing, the specialist will determine what the baby lacks and whether his demands on himself are fair.
In the situation of developing healthy self-esteem in children, the opinion of a specialist is very important. If it suddenly happens that parents are invited to a conversation by a school psychologist, you should not ignore this invitation. Take it seriously.
Three main types of self-assessment by children
There are 3 options for the results of self-esteem studies: adequate (but this is very rare for children, as you understand), underestimated or overestimated. These studies are carried out to identify deviations. Let us examine in more detail the positive and negative aspects of all three options.
Overpriced
Such children are overly self-confident and, as a rule, overly independent. The rules of society are not written for them and only they can decide what to do. A child with high self-esteem does not even need parental advice and knows what to do. Ready to take on the most difficult tasks, thereby risking failure because he did not adequately assess his strength.
Such children should always be the first and their desire is commendable, the main thing is not to cross the line. The child needs to be explained that not all means are good on the way to the goal. Such a kid prefers not to comply with agreements; he is not interested in it and the condemnation of society is absolutely indifferent.
Understated
At primary school age, a child’s self-esteem is often low. The kid refuses difficult tasks, doubting his own abilities. The child deliberately refuses high marks because he is not confident in himself. This entails more serious problems. For example, isolation, problems communicating with peers. The child deliberately lowers his standards, which is why it is so important to praise the child and not just like that, but for his achievements. Even if they are small and insignificant, the parents’ task is to focus on the positive aspects.
Don't let your child think about troubles, set him up for positive thinking and let him know that your child deserves better.
Adequate
It is very rare for a child to have adequate self-esteem, but it still exists. Such children are sociable, active and enjoy learning. Difficult tasks do not frighten them. If they failed to complete the task, they will adequately accept criticism and take into account everything the teacher said. Usually the whole team is drawn to such children, as they know how to interest and organize their peers.
Characteristics of self-esteem levels
From a psychological point of view, there are three levels of self-esteem. When determining this quality, one cannot operate solely in terms of “good and bad.” A more in-depth approach is needed here, taking into account some features.
Low self-esteem
If a child succumbs to the influence of others, he exhibits:
- diffidence,
- indecision,
- shyness,
- excessive caution
- These are indicators of low self-esteem. Such children simply need the approval and support of others.
The existing inferiority complex does not allow him to set high goals for himself. And the means to achieve them are not always worthy. Such children are often fixated on their failures and are afraid to change the usual course of events.
They grow up to be closed and envious, overly demanding and self-critical, cruel and vindictive people. Having decided that a loser is their role, they simply do not notice their opportunities and successes. External portrait of a person with low self-esteem:
- the head is pulled into the shoulders;
- indecisiveness in gestures and actions;
- "running" look.
Such manifestations in childhood should cause anxiety in parents and a desire to immediately try to correct the situation.
Heightened self-esteem
Often a child with high self-esteem complains that no one wants to be friends with him. This comes from the fact that he constantly tries to convince others of his superiority and requires recognition of his uniqueness. Believes he is underestimated.
Neither the advice of parents nor the opinions of others are important for such children. They take on impossible tasks and risk failure. The child attributes failure to chance, someone else’s fault. He perceives criticism as pickiness.
Children with high self-esteem gradually develop rudeness, aggression, rigidity, and quarrelsomeness. Externally, the following characteristic features are also determined:
- head held high and back straight;
- long, direct gaze;
- "commander" tone.
Such people strive to be the first in everything. This desire is worthy of praise, but it is worth explaining that not all means to achieve goals are good.
Adequate self-esteem
Success in society, in professional activities, in interpersonal relationships largely depends on a person’s ability to balance strengths and capabilities. That is, it is very important that a child develops adequate self-esteem from early childhood.
This level allows the little person to normally perceive healthy criticism, correctly assess the goals and his strengths (the chance to complete the task). A real assessment of oneself generates a feeling of stability and inner harmony. This is the key to a positive attitude towards others. A person with such a behavioral reaction will be able to fully demonstrate his advantages, compensating for his existing shortcomings.
Thanks to the descriptions presented above, you can determine the child’s level of self-esteem. And a thoughtful approach to development and education will help correct it.
Ways to correct self-esteem
By putting self-esteem correction methods into practice, you will help your child avoid difficulties in the future.
- Don't compare your child with his peers. It is unacceptable to say: “But Dima has already completed his homework and is walking in the yard, and you are still sitting over your textbook.” Parents must understand that each child has different abilities - this is the first thing. The most important task of a parent is to discern his child’s talent or lack thereof. Evaluate your child's abilities soberly. There are no people who are successful in all areas.
- Don't forget to praise your child. For most children, praise is the biggest motivator. Praise your child for the result of something. The baby will conquer new and new heights for the sake of the cherished words of mom and dad: “what a great guy you are,” “we are proud of you,” “keep it up.”
- Respect your child's personal space. It is important for a child that close people value his world. Treat your child's personal belongings and toys with care. Let him understand that he is loved, appreciated and respected.
- Adequately assess your child's abilities. You should not make excessive demands on your baby. If your son or daughter is in 2nd grade, they are not required to know the 5th grade program, even if one of their classmates easily mastered the program.
- Don't criticize the person. Don't scold or yell at your baby if everything doesn't work out the first time. Better help overcome difficulties and enjoy successes and achievements together.
Talk to your child more often, so you will understand what he is missing. Trusting relationships between parents and children are much easier to form in a child’s preschool age than in adolescence.
Features of the formation of self-esteem in older preschoolers
During the period of preschool childhood, the child actively develops a process of awareness of himself, what he is, what qualities he has, what attitude other people have towards him and what it consists of. This is expressed in assessing one’s successes and failures, qualities, skills and abilities, i.e. in self-esteem.
At the age of 3-7 years, communication with peers plays an important role in the process of developing self-esteem. The child can easily compare himself with other peers, as a result of which the child develops ideas about the characteristics of other children and at the same time the child learns to see himself through the eyes of others. Peer assessments are more meaningful for younger preschoolers. At 3-4 years old, children evaluate each other subjectively; the formation of a system of ideas about another preschooler depends on how an adult evaluates him. Younger preschoolers at this age cannot differentiate qualities and characteristics of children that are similar in content, and positive and negative attitudes are distributed equally. Children aged 4.5-5.5 years are most affected by peer assessment. By older preschool age, children prefer positive assessments; they already have a relatively good ability to adequately compare themselves with others.
In psychological and pedagogical science, much attention is paid to revealing the essence of the phenomenon of self-esteem, the features of its formation during preschool age; the issues of the development of individual self-awareness in the first stages of ontogenesis have always been relevant.
According to the research of M. I. Lisina, self-esteem acts as a mechanism for processing knowledge about oneself at the emotional level, and this concept is narrower than the essence of self-image [24, p. 25].
In the studies of I. S. Kon, self-esteem is interpreted as a certain attitude towards oneself, a common denominator, the final definition of “I”, reflecting the degree of acceptance and non-acceptance of oneself. The formation of self-esteem as an element of self-awareness is a consequence of the existing complex of self-esteem [21, pp. 54-57].
The set of various psychological structural links that develop according to certain laws is self-esteem in the provisions of V. S. Mukhina, who also claims that the formation of self-esteem begins in the family. Already at preschool age, a child can be aware of the attitude of his parents, feel their love and care, which constitutes the primary elements of self-awareness. An important period, according to the scientist, in the formation of a person’s self-esteem is the senior preschool age, when the formation of the future foundations of the personality takes place, the formation of the needs for respect and recognition by others [28, p. 82, 151, 178].
L. I. Bozhovich notes that in preschool age, self-esteem is formed on the basis of the child’s personal success, assessments and approval of adults and peers. In the process of communication and evaluative interaction with other people, the preschooler gradually develops an idea of himself [9].
The phenomenon of self-esteem in A.I. Lipkina is explained by the fact that a person evaluates himself, his qualities, capabilities and, accordingly, tries to choose and evaluate his place among other people, based on the person’s relationship with others, his criticality and demands on himself, attitude towards your successes and failures. Thus, self-esteem influences the effectiveness of a person’s activities and the further development of his personality [22, pp. 7-10].
O. A. Belobrykina identifies two forms of self-esteem: general and private. The first includes a strong system of knowledge about oneself, i.e. the basic core of personality. Private self-esteem is formed on the basis of a person’s performance of a number of actions [6, p.32].
L. V. Borozdina’s research is devoted to explaining the relationship between the concept of self-esteem as an independent element of self-awareness. The main characteristic of self-esteem, in her opinion, is the presence of critical thinking and a critical position of the individual towards his qualities, skills, abilities, assessment of existing potential [11, p.61].
The Federal State Educational Standard for Preschool Education (hereinafter referred to as the Federal State Educational Standard for Preschool Education) is aimed at developing the personality of preschool children in communication, play and other activities. The formation of adequate self-esteem in preschool age is one of the aspects of successful personality development [1].
The formation of self-esteem in senior preschool age includes three areas:
· the number of types of activities and personality traits increases;
· differentiation of self-esteem;
· the assessment appears over time.
Self-esteem of preschoolers is revealed in self-analysis of their completed actions and in anticipation of their future.
At an early age, the child begins to separate himself from others, which is a prerequisite for the development of self-awareness. Since younger preschoolers do not yet have adequate ideas about themselves, children most often evaluate themselves positively and prefer socially approved qualities in describing themselves, without realizing their meaning.
During middle preschool age, a child experiences serious changes in his ability to evaluate not only others, but also himself. The initial structures and components of the “I” image take shape. The child begins to relate to himself through comparison with other children. At the same time, comparison occurs both in communication with peers and moves into the internal plane. A preschooler develops the ability to see himself through the eyes of another, which is the basis of self-esteem.
At first, a child’s ability to independently evaluate other people depends on his emotional attitude towards them. Gradually, the assessment begins to be determined by the fact that the child begins to understand situations and their meanings, the actions and qualities of people. But in relation to assessing his own actions and characteristics, the child has difficulties. This is still connected with emotional experiences about one’s actions and qualities. Only in the process of comparing their activities with the activities of others can children of older preschool age develop a similar assessment.
Older preschoolers have the ability to adequately realize their successes and failures, to understand the attitude of others towards them, but this manifests itself in a very relative way. Due to the fact that self-esteem is undifferentiated, the assessment of the results of activities by other people is perceived by the child as an assessment of his personality in principle.
Gradually, the character changes to a differentiated one, and the self-attitude of older preschoolers changes significantly. The child begins to realize not only his own specific actions and qualities, but also the motives of activity, intentions and mood. By being aware of his mental characteristics and conditions, the child helps to develop a system of relationships with other children. An older preschooler is already focused not only on his own achievements and assessment of his qualities, he also opens up to others, understanding their states, experiences and self-worth, which is the beginning in the formation of feelings of empathy in preschoolers.
In the process of forming an adequate position towards the world, other people and oneself, an important place is given to an adult. A feature of the period of preschool childhood is that the child is “included” in another adult, thanks to which the formation of personality occurs at this stage [36, pp. 14-15]. A child, through an adult, is in society, communicates with it, being a member of human relationships. The child, through his assessment of other people, learns to correctly evaluate himself: at the moment of assessment, the child projects the opinions of adults onto others and onto himself.
The adult evaluates the actions, qualities and results of the child’s activities and thereby influences the process of formation of adequate or inadequate self-esteem of the child. The key role of an adult (parents, other relatives, educator) is also that the child needs constant assistance in the spiritual development of the child, the formation of his own “I” as an important component of the image of “I”.
The period of preschool childhood is a period when the active development of personal formations occurs, which are constantly supplemented by individual characteristics. The result of the subordination of motives is that the preschooler masters new motives of activity, certain value attitudes arise, and the nature of interactions with adults and other children is transformed.
In preschool age, children have high self-esteem, which is a natural consequence of the fact that during this period it is difficult for a child to separate his own actions and skills from his personality as a whole. In the development of personality and the formation of self-esteem, it is the period of senior preschool childhood that is important, since it is at this age that children develop the ability to correctly assess their qualities and activities, and independently control behavior.
Features of self-esteem in children
In childhood, the circle of friends is extremely narrow. Basically, only parents can influence the formation of self-esteem from the outside. At school age, classmates and teachers are added to them. A child is often in a situation where he must relate to himself in some way in order to evaluate his actions. The child’s behavior and his communication in society in the future depend on such self-analysis.
In preschool age
At this age there is a very fine line between the assessments of adults. The baby is already aware of his importance in this world and his judgments about himself are based solely on the assessment of him by adults. Most often he hears praise and admiration, so at this age most children have high self-esteem. But do not rush to exchange mercy for criticism for balance. Criticizing a child at this age is dangerous - it threatens low self-esteem, and it will be much more difficult to cope with.
At primary school age
At primary school age, a child’s role in society becomes incredibly important. Self-esteem depends on how peers react to him. At the same time, the role of parents is still important. Don't forget to praise and encourage your child for his achievements.
At middle school age
At this age, a child’s self-esteem depends on public opinion. If a child occupies a leading position in the class, his self-esteem is clearly inflated, and if the child is an outcast, naturally, the level of self-esteem is the lowest.
In high school age
Position in the team plays an important role in the formation of adolescents’ self-esteem. It is worth noting that this is not the only evaluation criterion. A teenager cares about his successes and achievements. It is important that at an early age parents adequately assess the child’s abilities and do not impose on him what he does not like. It is extremely important for a teenager to feel important and visually attractive.
Development of self-esteem in preschoolers and primary schoolchildren
Self-esteem is formed on the basis of other people's perception of personality. Therefore, in order for a child to learn to adequately compare his capabilities, actions and demands on himself, it is important from the first days to correctly relate to his appearance, growing up, and formation. The main role in this case is given to parents and close circle.
The baby should feel the love of his family all the time. It is especially important at night to confirm your attitude through actions, since the dark time of day for a child is something unknown that gives rise to fear. Parental support (bedtime story, bedtime ritual) gives a feeling of love and security.
The older a child gets, the more he realizes his importance among other people. The basis for judgments about oneself is his assessment by adults. Children under three years of age are most often constantly praised. Most three-year-olds develop slightly inflated self-esteem. But we shouldn’t rush to change anything just yet. Criticism for balance is now inappropriate and even dangerous. If you lower your self-esteem now, it will be harder to cope with it later. A preschooler needs an adequate assessment of his actions and actions. That is, it is necessary to dose praise and blame fairly.
For older preschoolers and younger schoolchildren, the place they occupy in society becomes incredibly important. Communication with peers greatly influences self-esteem, so the task of parents is not to forget about the existence of this aspect of influence. Tactful advice from parents, their love and understanding is the most important potential for the formation of adequate self-esteem.
At this age, it is important to explain that failures can happen in life. Helping people learn to extract positive experiences from them is also the task of loved ones. To do this, invite the growing person to answer the question: “Why did this happen? What lesson can be learned from this situation?
What are the dangers of low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem is directly related to quality of life. Low self-esteem will prevent a person from becoming happy. A person who is dissatisfied with himself cannot be happy. Relationships in society for such a person do not work out. As a rule, a dream job remains a dream forever, since self-doubt does not give a chance to express oneself. And these are the smallest reasons why low self-esteem should be corrected. The tendency to depression in adulthood is also the result of inadequate self-esteem.
How to increase self-esteem
Self-esteem is much easier to correct in childhood. Parents and teachers are the first helpers in this difficult task. It is difficult for a child to adequately evaluate himself; adults must come to his aid. Help your child find something he likes, be proud of him and encourage his small victories. It is important for a child to know and feel that he is loved and respected. Teach your child to defend his point of view and make it clear that it is impossible to please everyone. Explain that no one will encourage the victim's condition and that it is worth thinking about yourself, of course, not to the detriment of others. Help your child learn to justify their decisions.
Self-esteem in children with disabilities
It is important for special children to understand that they are needed by society and are not a burden. Perception depends on the attitude of the parents. Some treat their child with trepidation and patience, while others may lash out at the baby due to fatigue. Try to find friends with similar interests for this child. A child, doing what he loves, will understand his importance and value. And don’t forget to remind him of what a great guy he is.
It is fair to talk to your child about the fact that not all people are the same, and there are different situations in life, but difficulties are given in order to overcome them. Every day tell your child with disabilities how great he is.
A special period for the formation of self-esteem
A sharp decline in self-esteem is possible when a child enters school. Parents really want their son or daughter to be the best, and they themselves are praised for their upbringing. And if a teacher complains about a student, moms and dads get disappointed and angry. Moreover, they are angry with themselves, with their unjustified expectations. And they take out the negativity on the child.
The first-grader feels that the adults have united and become “one line.” Together they begin to teach and express negativity towards the child. How can you avoid lowering your self-esteem?
Parents need to understand that they are support, that “wall” on which you can lean. Even if there are bad grades or something is wrong with behavior, relatives need to take the side of the younger family member. Try to figure it out, help. Tell the teacher: “You may be right in some ways, but we diligently did our homework yesterday. We’ll learn some more and fix everything.” And for your son or daughter, find words that will help restore balance. That is, to praise for efforts around the house, etc.
In any situation, the child must remember that his parents love him! Talk about it, show it with actions. The baby should know that no matter how angry mom (dad) is, they are there and will always support.
In some situations, visits to a psychologist are necessary to determine the level of self-esteem. This will help adults understand whether they behave correctly in specific situations and in general towards their child.
