How to teach a child etiquette: useful games
Good manners always show a person in a favorable light, so our kids need to be taught etiquette from childhood.
You don’t want to blush in front of the teacher because your son or daughter was rude to her just like that, or in a cafe where the child decides to eat with his hands instead of using the offered fork and spoon.
The main rule in teaching children (no matter what) is the element of play. From boring and edifying control, the child will only do everything in defiance of you. Moreover, the more actively and strictly you monitor compliance with etiquette standards, the stronger the child’s stubbornness will be in your confrontation.
It is not enough for the child that you told him how to do it. He also needs to explain why it is this way and not otherwise. It is best to act gradually: instill the rules of etiquette not directly, but indirectly, so that the child himself wants to follow them.
Exactly the opposite
The works of Grigory Oster, who once composed “Bad Advice,” are rightfully considered one of the best ways to instill good manners in a child.
There is no more pleasant activity than picking your nose. Everyone is terribly interested in what is hidden inside. And whoever is disgusted to look, let him not look. We don’t get in his way, let him not pester him either. If you come to see your friends, don’t say hello to anyone, don’t say the words “please” or “thank you” to anyone. Turn away and don’t answer anyone’s questions. And then no one will say about you that you are a talker.
If you get your hands dirty with salad at dinner and are embarrassed to wipe your fingers on the tablecloth, lower them unnoticeably under the table and calmly wipe your hands on your neighbor’s pants.
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For better effect, the book honestly says “A book for naughty children” with a note below “Obedient children are not allowed to read.” Agree, it’s tempting to read, what is so forbidden written there? Amazing bait! A charming style and a subtle sense of humor are a great way to ridicule ignorance and rudeness and teach etiquette to a child.
Teddy bear etiquette
Children absolutely do not like to learn rules in class, they do not like to be corrected, but this does not mean that our fidgets are against the rules of etiquette. They understand perfectly well that living by the rules is more convenient for everyone. At the same time, they get tired of the role of a student - they want to feel like an all-knowing and capable teacher.
Your child will love learning etiquette through situations with their stuffed animals or dolls. And the main thing for you is to come up with new stories in which the toys end up.
Mom-forum member Svetlana says : “One day I went into my daughter’s room and saw that she was playing with her favorite doll. She was playing “guest” when the doll Masha met her friends. My Irishka fed the doll with a spoon, while making comments to her: “Don’t slurp, please. This is not appropriate". Of course, the doll cannot slurp, but my daughter really wanted to teach her good manners. So we are now coming up with different game situations so that my daughter can play and learn at the same time.”
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Games according to the rules of etiquette
Let's come up with a situation . Invite your child to come up with a story with or without rules. Let him draw invented stories and scenes. You can take stories as situations: “Telephone conversation”, “Greeting and introduction”, “How to behave in public transport”, “How to behave in the cinema and theater”, “How to give gifts”.
Notes with rules . Write etiquette rules on the notes so that in one part there is a condition, and in the other there is correct behavior. Tear everything into two parts and mix. Let the child reconstruct the notes by correctly selecting the corresponding parts.
Letters of courtesy . Let the children write letters to each other, parents, and relatives. Let them talk about whatever they want, but without violating etiquette. Send letters by e-mail - and let the addressee evaluate the received text from the point of view of compliance with the rules of etiquette. You can evaluate a letter according to two criteria: in terms of how it is written, and in terms of the situations given in it.
Rhyming . Read the poem, and let the children add the necessary missing words at the end of the line. The game is not at all difficult, but any child will enjoy it.
Participate in the exchange of kind words And speak more often... (hello) You need to know how twice is two Everything... (magic words) Don’t be afraid up to a hundred times a day Say... (please).
Polite-bearish
Children's literary works are great for teaching etiquette. Some do this directly, others do it in a veiled manner. Children are captivated by the plot, empathize with their favorite characters, while simultaneously learning the rules of etiquette. Here are the most popular works:
- “A very polite turkey” (B. Zakhoder).
- “Moidodyr”, “Fedorino Mountain” (K. Chukovsky).
- “A lesson in politeness: A five or six year old bear was taught how to behave” (S. Marshak).
- “The Tale of Lost Time” (E. Schwartz).
- "The Little Prince" (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry).
Theater of Good Manners
Try staging performances based on literary works with your children. For example, you can take one of the above books or any historical play. The historical background of any work reflects the peculiarities of the etiquette of its time. Playing a role, a child lives someone else’s life according to the rules of etiquette (if the hero is positive), or against these rules (if the hero is negative). The experience of such experiences will allow the child to feel for himself what it is like to live according to the rules of etiquette.
Read also: Little ladies and gentlemen: teaching children etiquette
Socialization
Everyone knows that theory without practice has no right to life. If the child communicates little, you do not go with him to theatres, cinemas, museums, cafes, or receive guests, then the situations in which the child will need his knowledge of etiquette will be very limited. Accordingly, the child will consider unnecessary what is not useful to him in life.
Your task is to socialize the child’s life . This will develop him culturally and make his knowledge of the rules of etiquette extremely necessary. The child will observe the behavior of other people in different circumstances, see what matters to others, and begin to look at himself from the outside. So he will look not at the rules themselves, but at the ways of interacting with other people according to these rules.
Victoria Tolstova, child psychologist : “The main incentive for a child is the parent. And not at all in the sense of edification or submission to oneself. Growing up, children strive to become like mom or dad: they repeat words, actions, model similar life situations, but in their own way. If parents want to teach their child etiquette, they must follow its rules themselves. Without fail and in any situation. The slightest deviation and the child will understand that it is not necessary to follow these rules, since mom or dad doesn’t have to follow them.”
Remember that even the most fun games and non-standard approaches to teaching will not teach a child good manners if he does not have a role model in you.
Make every effort to ensure that your fidget grows up to be a real gentleman or lady.
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